Grateful

rebekka

I’m grateful, beyond words.

One of the best things I’ve done for myself is to forgive myself. But also to forgive the closest people in my life, for a long time it was my dad…for not being there for me. I took the last month of my journey to really spend time with my dad in Taiwan. For the first time in his life, it has snowed in Taiwan. Taiwan also has a new president.

I’m turning 28 on February 11 and it has been a hell of a journey. As I look back on the photos of going to Thailand, Vietnam, Malaysia, Singapore, and Taiwan, I am just in awe of the divine connections I’ve made, the lifetime friendships I’ve made.

I am filled with gratitude.

I lived with so much apprehension and fear when I left. There was a huge paycheck that was intended to be used for my trip, that fell through (and there was no way I could chase it down being so far away). I had to let go and trust the process. I left with a very small amount for such a big trip- a trip that meant simply following the spirit and seeing where God would lead me. 

I didn’t have any plans, I knew that I had a few countries in my mind. Vietnam because I love pho. Bali because of Eat Pray and Love. Taiwan because I wanted to spend time with my dad.

But little did I know what the trip would look like….and maybe if I had known I’d never have taken that step. The truth is the whole trip was meant to heal my heart. And I’ll be journeying my whole life, I’ll go where spirit leads me. 

Thailand flew by. Vietnam came and went. I made life time friends. I saw a new friend of mine get hit by a car right in front of my eyes after a late night out. It was such a shock to both of us, she was okay but it really opened my eyes to the fact that travel could be life and death. 

I also made friends that I thought I’d be best friends forever and within the next month, she had become co-dependent to the point I had to unfriend her and cut her off for my own well- being.

Many times I didn’t know where I was going to sleep the night of….it was scary sometimes. Sometimes I would just trust the process, trust that God had something in mind and I can say that after 6 months, God has never lied to me. 

I’ve been stranded on islands, seen God do the most miraculous things through STRANGERS. I’ve met strangers at clubs that basically picked me up from the train station and hosted me the very next day. I was showered with provision.

In Bali, I got into a moped accident, not what I planned yet again. I had feelings for sweethearts, I’ve confronted them, I’ve wept and had breakdowns in front of people I’ve met 3 days ago…leading us to talk deeply about our lives.

I’ve cried an awful lot, but again the journey started years ago…

Years ago, when I tried to put my life together in a neat respectable box and realized that I needed to live in grace instead. That it’s better to vulnerable, it’s better to be authentic, it’s better to be loved than to be strong, it’s better to love than to be perfect. 

I also didn’t think I’d get my belly pierced.

I have so much to share with the world and I’m just waiting for the right time and the right platform which will come at the perfect aligned time.

So I continue to trust, as I see my life unfold into a beautiful painting of love.

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