Deep Uncovering – Living With Intention

Here goes another very deep blog entry. Be prepared!!!

As you know, I’m reading Life Entrepreneurs- I’m on chapter 3 “Discovering Core Identity”. I encourage EVERYONE to read this blog post because it may wake up a few on-lookers.

1. Having a Clear Sense of Who We Are 

“How can  we achieve such self-awareness? The process if one of ‘dis-covering,’ or removing the layers of sediment that obstruct our view- layers of ego, pride, ambition, and expectations that so often bury our own identity. It is a process that requires not only reflection but also action. Knowing oneself is usually an outcome of an iterative process of introspection, action, change, and reflection”. Setting out as a life entrepreneur means that you must have a clear sense of who you are. 

2. Digging Into the Past to Discover Future Revelation

“It may sound easy, but precious few of us mine the chapters of our personal story to inform and enrich our days. Most of us glance fleetingly at our history through a rearview mirror while charging into the future”.

The last couple of months of struggling and discovering have helped me to dig deeper into my past. Many of us live in denial. I know this, I lived in it for several years, only accidentally discovering wounds here and there, but never really facing them. It’s a lie to think that our past doesn’t affect our future. It does.

For example, my accomplishment driven self strove to become the best at everything in order to prove that I was worthy of love and acceptance. I was deprived of approval and thus, sought peoples’ approval. Then I realized that people who are empty themselves, have little love or acceptance to give themselves. A broken basket cannot give because all the eggs have fallen out. How did I know all this? I struggled through my experiences and gleaned new insights- I took time to analyze my response to the external, then meditated on my identity as God’s daughter. If I felt rejected, I heard God say “you are my daughter, I love you and have prepared a way for you”.

3. Self-actualization Above Physical Need (like money)

“…a musician must make music, an artist must paint, a writer must write if he/ she is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man or woman can be, he or she must be. This need we call self-actualization….”

“This speaks to why discovering our core identity is essential. Too many people lead a life that doesn’t cohere with their authentic essence. Too many see their true identity buried by external pressures, expectations, or circumstances, squashing their potential for authenticity and self- actualization

I was thinking about this woman who goes to work everyday, 5 days a week and have little social life. What an existence to live! What is to be said the day she lies in her grave? She worked many hours in her life, she was a hard worker. I don’t know if I would want that to be said about me when I’m at the end of my life.

4. Coming Alive

“Don’t worry about what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and do that. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive”– Howard Thurman

Today’s Conclusion 

After coming back from Australia, I had many people come up to me and tell me “you are so lucky, I wish I could travel…if I only had the money!” Actually, most people can travel with enough planning and mostly, courage to risk a secure life. I tell them, “well, be prepared to be butt broke when you come back, otherwise, it’s so worth it!” Of course, that’s not very encouraging….

But going on a trip that changed my life – is far more worth it than my security. In fact, I freak out when my life is too consistent, it scares me. My biggest fear is consistency and routine. It makes me feel trapped. I’m glad that my sometimes lonesome and traumatic childhood removed me from normal life and caused me to reach deeper and reflect when the outside world was out partying. I found solitude comforting and learned to become a listener and observer. Being a listener helped me to listen to my heart, other peoples’ hearts, and love myself and others even more. I listened and found the spiritual world. I listened and saw the crying and the dying. 

Today I still listen, that’s why I like music so much. When I listen to music, I imagine each note being played, I am imagining the venue, the live band, people. Music creates an internal reality which is externalized by dancing. Living with intention means that we have to dig deeper into our hearts and find the wounds that have created our current reality. Then we must heal, we must confide in trustworthy friends, journal, struggle- and let our reality become a miracle.

Alishan, Taiwan

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