How To Live Life One Step At A Time

 

“Life affords no higher pleasure than that of surmounting difficulties, passing from one step of success to another, forming new wishes and seeing them gratified.”-Samuel Johnson

 

The last entry was about stepping up, quit complaining, and stepping into the promise land.

This entry is about stepping into the dark.

Now what do I mean?

I mean: Sometimes you just need to put your feet forward in spite of not knowing whether a crocodile will bite your leg off.

Most likely, a crocodile will not appear and bite your leg off. That is probably the most horrible thing that could happen. Most likely you will fail.

The analogy comes from my experience teaching sewing and mandarin. I started teaching a few years ago at different studios, the one that gave me hours paid me very little, the one that did give me doable salary, had very little hours. Overall, I was tired of undercompensation.

It was in the darkness, in the storm, that my lightbulb went on. Craigslist was one of my saviors. He put me on a pedestal and showed me the true meaning of life.

Did I know if my first student would be creepy? No. I did not. Do I ever know if I’ll be safe, happy, secure, stable, wealthy. Nope.

I just jumped into the dark. Did I know everything I was teaching at first? No. To be honest, most of us don’t, we self- educate on things that school never taught us.

What did that first step get me? My second step. What did my second step get me? The third. So on and so forth. Why have I come so far in self- realization? I don’t know. I guess I just stepped forward even thought I had no idea whether my leg would still be attached.

I guess it would get really dark when the Isrealites were walking to the promise land. Maybe some got so scared of crocodiles and sinking sand, that some would rather cower, kneel down and cry. Some never made it because they were so scared. A hurricane probably hurled them into the ocean.

My point is, just take one step at a time. It will lead you to the next. Want to quit your job? Google 2 weeks notice, next step, copy and paste and input names and date, next step, print it and put it in an envelope. Want to get a date? Put your photo on eharmony, find a hottie and send a message. Want to make a better income? Make the changes, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 – take the steps and don’t think too much about how DIFFICULT it is.

Just do it.

 

Want To Change The World? Be Good To The Women Around You

Yes, ladies. It’s YOUR DAY. It’s your day to shine and be known. This is OUR CHRISTMAS. This is the DAY to celebrate US, our birth, who we are.

This is the day to be recognized for our womanhood, for just being plain awesome.

Yesterday I went to Saving Innocence  Launch Party in Santa Monica. Kim, the founder spoke about her passion to fight human trafficking right here in Los Angeles. She said that 11 year olds are being sold right on the streets of Sunset, Hollywood Blvd, from LAX all the way to LA county. Think Human Trafficking is a 3rd world problem, think again.

I couldn’t help but cry. Every time I hear about this backyard, very current issue, my soul lurches and grieves. These are OUR children being raped, kidnapped, tortured so senseless they have no where to go. Most of these children WERE ALREADY vulnerable to pimps (rapists, please DO NOT glorify this word).

Some girls have already been abused in the homes. No, not just physically. Verbally.

How many women grow up in homes that are verbally abusive? Many. Women are often told that we are ugly, fat, too skinny, not good enough, not smart enough, bitches, hoes…the list goes on. Guess what? We do that to each other too.

Ladies, ladies. Admit it. How many times do we gossip and talk shit with our friends? Hey, don’t we all at some point? Yet, our children grow up in abusive homes that tears at their soul and leaves them vulnerable to bad guys, bad people. These bad guys tell them that they’ll give them everything, for once in their life, these girls suddenly feel “safe” and “secure”. But of course, they are abused over and over again- more than we can imagine.

Why do I care SO much for these girls? I could have been one and I know how VULNERABLE a girl can feel when they are not LOVED in the home. I didn’t see my dad for 10 years and felt the emotional trauma of not being loved, not feeling secure, feeling alienated. Somehow I found acceptance and love from a Father, my spiritual Father.

This is not a common story…but it will be if we BE GOOD TO THE WOMEN AROUND US.

Ways to BE GOOD To Women and Change the World. All of us are connected to each other. Not one action goes unwarranted. We are all connected and dominoes effect are happening as we speak.

1. Don’t be so hard on yourself and other women– yes, we are hard on ourselves and thus we manifest the same expectations on other people.

2. Encourage Yourself and Others DAILY– Look in the mirror and say “I am beautiful”. Compliment women generously. Don’t play jealousy games. Yes, another woman is hot, but you are too. By saying “You are beautiful”, you are displaying immense confidence in yourself.

3. Treat children like they are human beings– because, duh, they are! Encourage them generously, wholeheartedly! They are our next generation. Remember that ONE PERSON who said that ONE SENTENCE of encouragement in your life? It was so simple, yet they changed the course of your life; It could have been a friend, a stranger, a teacher, parent.

I remember when I was in High School, I wanted to give up running…I was so tired. My coach said “I believe in you!”. I didn’t know what that meant, it didn’t translate in my brain as English. What is this profanity?

But I believed what he said. Even though I had never heard this before, I knew that someone believed in me, believed in what I can do and who I can and could be. I ran knowing that someone believed in me and somehow got into Varsity by believing that I was someone. Everyday I take risks knowing that I am SOMEONE important. I’ve flown to many places to tell strangers they are important. I do it here and I know ONE sentence of encouragement can change the course of someone’s life. 

4. Empower a woman in your life- As an entrepreneur that is pioneering a new path, I can’t tell you how much ish you go through to even get off your feet! I’ve gotten a lot of ish for just doing what I want. SO empower the women in your life, don’t doubt them! People ask me if I’m okay like I’m a basket case.

They want to be able to sympathize with me, but really they are hoping that FOLLOWING THEIR DREAM IS NOT POSSIBLE, THAT IT SUCKS, THAT THEY WILL SUFFER AND IT’S NOT WORTH IT.

That’s why some people ask me if I’m okay and hope that I’m not able to pay my bills. Maybe if they see that following my dreams has led me to my death and destruction that they can feel okay about sitting at their desk for 40 hours a week, maybe if they see that taking a risk is NOT WORTH IT, they can give themselves a pat on the back and NOT pursue their childhood dreams.

Um. Too bad it’s been the most transformative, releasing, freeing months of my life.

IS anything worth living for EASY? 

Nope. Anything worth living for is difficult, hard to get, but worth it.

Yet, having come so far, 6 months. I’ve already crossed over to the other side, and my my! The other side is so GREEN! Risk is so easy when you get over the other side. It’s so relaxing, not necessarily because I’m rich, but more so, because I get to wake up and lounge here writing in my pj’s.

Be good to yourself, be good to other women- and see how ONE person, yes, just ONE can impact the whole world. You can!

Two women that have made a difference in my life. Thank you girls for supporting me during this crazy adventure – Clare Angami, Shaina Solomon, Isabel Collin, Jane Chen, Heather Petrey, Nancy Shieh, Chelsea Kasen, Nancy Kuo, Jessica Yamane, Lauren Nanson, Maggie Wang, Annie Wong, Share Lin….list goes on.