Food and Tinder

jesus

Today I wrote on this Girls Who Travel group-

“I got hungry and downloaded Tinder again”.

I was maybe metaphorically craving some companionship and also I was really hungry, like my stomach was hungry.

This lady I knew wrote something about – “are you serious right now?” as if a feminist would not like free food. She took me seriously. Which I had to roll on the floor and laugh.

A bunch of other girls agreed with me and said why not.

It was a joke. That I thought people would find funny, but I guess the angry feminists were not laughing.

After scrolling through, I only found one picture attractive, it was Jesus and KFC man. No attractive men for me. And just FYI feminist lady, I wouldn’t go out with anyone I didn’t think was a potential for a real date…I wouldn’t go if you paid me. I would never use a man for a meal, geez, I rather eat ramen and watch netflix by myself- Lord have MERCY!

I would not subject myself to an hour of boredom with a man I thought was uninteresting. 

But in case you are wondering, I do find generous men attractive and yes, if he made more income, I think the man would want to pay for my meal and yes, I’m okay with it. I’m grateful and happy and I would say thank you. 

That does not make me less of an equal human being, that would make me a grateful and thankful one, it would not make me less than because I don’t need anyone to say I’m less than or more of anything. I just am.

She also made a good point “didn’t you write an ebook on how to make money doing what you love? and living your dreams? So this isn’t consistent with your brand”

Um. Did you read my ebook?

I’m all about asking for help. In fact, you cannot be self sufficient as an entrepreneur. Haven’t you seen people ask investors for help to build a company? I’m thankful for all the free meals, free accommodations, free help I’ve gotten as an entrepreneur. You cannot be an entrepreneur if you don’t ask for help.

In fact, when I was self employed I asked my mom for help to pay rent twice. I’ve stayed with friends for 5 months, I’ve crashed couches, I’ve asked for free shit in exchange for social media exposure…..

So no, maybe I’m not a feminist if it means I have to not ask for help. Maybe I’m just human and you know what I’m more than grateful for the gifts of God, of humans, of nature, of plants that grow and become my food, of animals, of technology. All of these, I did not strive for, it was all gifts. 

And by the way, I am living my dreams. I am in Singapore right now, traveling the world because I am always relying on God, on people for help.

Kicking Some Unwanted Balls & Throwing Up Cherries

At the Books Hostel in Rio

I woke up at 5 am today, 4 hours jet-lagged. My computer had crashed last night, so any attempts of writing, contacting potential clients, or any type of freelance search was out the door.

To add, after drinking milk and tea, I felt nauseated. Then I threw up in a public bathroom. Cherries literally included, not on top, but in it.

I asked god why I always had to go through with things like this. Why can’t I just adjust back to life like normal people? Why can’t I be normal enough to have a normal job waiting for me?

Then I’m reminded that I’m supposed to LET GO.

This is a lesson that will take a long time to learn. Especially when the facts in your life don’t seem so stable, a little discouraging at best. Especially when you find yourself comparing yourself to other normal people who don’t go off for a month and experience the most life changing shit ever.

By the way, I’m quitting alcohol for a month. Please keep me accountable. I need to cleanse my body from travel bugs, literally.

I guess it’s easy to be negative, but I’ll try to be positive. I woke up with the most amazing travel story idea. I’m going to write about Traveling Solo As An Asian Woman- Not Your Typical Travel Story. I’ll also write about harassment I experienced being an Asian woman in South America. Scandalous enough for an article, scandalous enough for people to be intrigued. It’s not your typical story. Yet, at the end, coming out a wiser person, knowing how to avoid nasty stares, avoid forced kisses, avoid and kick some unwanted balls.

I didn’t really have an easy life growing up. But it has made me who I am today, I would not be the person I am today if it wasn’t for the hardships. But guess what, I think it’s time I became gloriously awesome and fought for as a speaker, teacher and consultant. Even if I don’t feel like it right now, especially since I threw up just now.

Since I can’t pitch stories to publications because my hard drive just crashed, I’ll wait for the universe to pamper and flourish me, according to the right time. Meanwhile, sitting at the Apple Store, I’ll finish this blog post with some pictures that could erase the image of me throwing up cherries. 😉

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Some exclusive graffiti from Rio, Brazil.