I Didn’t See My Dad For 10 Years and Battled Depression

I didn’t see my dad for 10 years and everyday I think about him. So far, I haven’t seen him for 4 years. I’ve talked to him for a total of 10 minutes in the 4 years I haven’t seen him. Each time I have to fly to Taiwan to see him and he disappears for a few days. I see him whenever he wants to pop up.

Each day I do feel sadness in my heart but I replace that sadness by interacting with people and socializing. Meeting people with the same story helps me feel a sense of peace.

I know God put me on this earth to help people who are also struggling with feeling unworthy or depressed because of their situation with their parents.

There is definitely an aching in my heart but the encouragement of strangers and people I meet help my heart open.

I try not to stay home, it makes me feel depressed. I go out and interact with people, life, the outdoors. My boyfriend and I often travel and meeting likeminded people helps us forgive the past and move foward each day. I’m truly grateful for him.

“Rebekka Lien is a multi-talented individual who was born in Hamburg, Germany and has lived in Taiwan and now America. She is an actress, writer, comedian, musician, fashion designer, and entrepreneur. Growing up with a single mother, she learned the value of hard work and determination from a young age. Rebekka is a true creative force to be reckoned with.”

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My father 

My father for most of my life remained a mysterious, absent entity. It has been a difficult, rocky road to recover my relationship with him. It has been filled with heartache, bitterness, anger and resentment. I’ve learned from past relationships that I needed badly to heal my relationship with my dad or else I was not going to have a healthy relationship with my significant half. I also realized that my heart had problems trusting God’s heart for me because my earthly father had not been there for me.

I had a Heavenly Father, spirit God who guided me. 

Today I’m proud to say I’ve gotten to know my dad more and it’s shown me what kind of God God is. When you learn that God is a good father who wants everything for you and hand picks things that you love in your life….

You learn to trust God. 

And then you have faith that can move mountains because you know that with God all things are possible. 

Even though I had to initiate a lot of reconciliation in my life, I’m healed for it…I hungered for wholeness, and with wholeness my heart is filled with love. 

Is it worth it? Yes. 

Forgiveness is everything, letting go of my pride to forgive…lets just say my heart is softer, I don’t have a wall around it anymore; I don’t have to fend and defend myself as I used to as a kid.    

Recovering everything I didn’t have as a child. Learning to be a kid again, learning to receive, learning to let my guard down. 
For God is for you and not against you. His plans are to prosper you in every way. If you didn’t grow up with your father, know that there is a Father who loves and wants to protect you. 

You are worthy and enough in His eyes.