Is He My Husband?

Just a random photo of dogs because I love dogs!

You’ve been heart broken, betrayed- I’ll mend your wounds.

I love you as you are, you are enough.

Your heart wants to go back but you know it’s like poison, there’s better.

When you wait for the best you’ll get the best.

You’ve waited a long time, wondering when, when you’ll meet the one, come I am your one.

I am your husband; I am your father; I am your protector. Do you not know I am here for you? Do you know I’ll whisper sweet nothings to you? Do you know you lack no one?

Jesus

Last night I had a dream my brother said I don’t like Korea and I said at least go to the Korean spa!

I was inside a house and I wanted to go out. The house represents my heart, I wanted to open my heart. A few weeks ago I met this man at the Korean spa. We liked each other but then I knew he wasn’t it.

I said that we could not be together.

Then God had me bump into him again. I was so mad. God you are seriously fucking with me (excuse my language).

I saw him with another woman and thought they were together so I hid. I ran. But then minutes later as I was calling my friend to tell her he said hey.

Wtf God???

I kind of made small talk, set boundaries and he ran off. Sort of. When he was walking away God told me to tell him how I felt.

Seriously God!!?

What’s the point. So I let him know I had to talk to him. He later called and I said- “God told me to tell you how I feel”.

And he replied that he had feelings for me too. That maybe we should hang out.

But then my heart felt better. I didn’t need to know what was next or maybe I would never see him again…

I didn’t realize I felt suffocated on the inside, I felt lack. I felt deprived and heart sick.

Even though he isn’t it, I said what I felt and it was liberating.

I am attractive, I am loved, I am beautiful. I felt that again. Because I felt repressed somehow. I wasn’t allowing myself to feel what I felt.

He might not be it and it may not go anywhere but why don’t you be real and honest? 

Prophetic Word for some who have had a desire to have more external stability-

God may be bringing your life into more external stability as He prepares you for marriage because the heart issues are TOO INTENSE of an UPHEAVAL for you to be dealing with moving around.
 
I know that is what He is bringing me into this SEASON.
 
MARRIAGE is around the corner as GOD OPENS YOUR HEART AND BRINGS YOU TO A PLACE OF VULNERABILITY with the people AROUND you.
You will need to BE HONEST AND OPEN WITH THOSE GOD IS having you BUILD with. 

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It’s Time To Burn Bridges- Prophetic Word

just-innovate-sometimes-you-need-to-burn-bridges-to-stop-14362752

I went through some inner healing today. See, sometimes we get mad at God, or we get mad at ourselves for our past mistakes. We get mad for not knowing how to love ourselves. 

“why the hell did I waste time with that jerk?” – we ask. Or perhaps, we entered into a career opportunity that was beneath us. Perhaps you knew going into something that it was beneath you, but you still went into it. Why do we do that? Because knowing who we are is spiritual and emotional, it’s not mental or logical. 

We tend to THINK we want something, but follow our hearts and our hearts reflect where we are. So you might be broken emotionally and think you want a loving partner, but keep going for the same jackass. It’s because subconsciously you still feel unworthy of true love.

People always say “don’t burn bridges” but I disagree.

There were times in my life where I made decisions based on my inner brokenness. I was so broken inside that those broken pieces determined my choices. And you know what, that’s just part of my life education. You might look back and think “I was so stupid”, but don’t be so hard on yourself. Decision making is part of learning more about who you are and how to love yourself.

You couldn’t have known. You were born into a broken world with broken and imperfect parents. You do get stronger from those experiences though.

But I believe it is time to burn bridges from:

  1. Who you used to be.
  2. Who you used to associate with in your brokenness.
  3. Who you thought you were.

What I mean by burn bridges is to:

  1. No longer regret those decisions, forgive yourself for the decisions you made, and move on emotionally and mentally. Your past experiences are part of your life story, however it doesn’t have to determine your next season.
  2. Cut emotional ties with people who you relied on in your brokenness but know that they are not good for you in this season of your life. It doesn’t mean you have to hate on them or talk smack about them, you can even still be somewhat connected to them on social media but you must cut the soul ties that tie you down emotionally.
  3. Stop putting yourself in a box. Just because you used to operate in one way doesn’t mean you will in the future. It’s a new season, you have changed for the better.

It’s time to move forward. The sacrifice is letting go of the past and what used to give you comfort. You are stepping into unknown territory but God has already prepared the way for you. All you have to do is take a scissor and cut the rope that you keep holding onto.

Let go and breathe.