I Can’t Please Anyone, I Can Only Be Myself

I was laying on my couch in a fetal position. I don’t know, I was scared. If you’re in relationship with people, you’ll get hurt and you’ll hurt people. I’m petrified to be in relationships with new people, I’ve been really hurt in the past 2 years (doing ministry).

That’s something I did not feel like going through. And now, people were actually being nice to me, they were approaching me, messaging me, saying they liked me a lot.

But it’s scary when people are nice to you, because any minute they can betray you and one wrong thing can tick them off (I’ve realized). Maybe they never told you how they actually felt and they were bottling everything inside and now one thing you’ve done wrong have totally pissed them off. 

What about all the things you’ve helped them with? It seems that it no longer matters. It happened to me, and it frightened me how quick people could change.

I realize because the last couple of months I’ve experienced a lot of judgement and rejection from people around me. Some were unintentional, and some well, I was confused by it. How could I have done it better? I’ll think. I thought it was maybe better to not deal with people, yet there were people all around me.

Ministry is that, people.

I am not perfect, my word is not final. God’s is. Everyone must hear God for themselves, not rely on a teacher, preacher or prophet.

I think I’m petrified in making a mistake in relationships. It’s easy to prophesy and leave, but to actually manage peoples’ hurts and emotions, and not to take on the responsibility to heal them- give it to God. 

That’s the hard part. Ministry is so hard.

I’m a human too, I have emotions. It hurts to be rejected and judged because everyone has triggers, everyone has past hurts. Something I might say may trigger someone and then when they blow up, I feel like it’s my fault. But I know it’s not, yet, it takes time to recover. 

I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.

Welcoming new people into my life is difficult, it takes courage, it takes grace.

I am not perfect, I am perfect in God’s eyes sure, but I may not always know how to act or be, and that’s why I need to realize, it’s not on me to make others happy, I just need to know I am enough in God’s eyes, be myself and be gracious towards myself if someone gets hurt. 

I can ONLY be myself, write authentically, speak truthfully and obey God for myself.

I cannot be responsible for your emotions and your life. I cannot take on false burdens and responsibility and try to make YOU happy.

People come to me and tell me not to write a specific or certain thing and I start doubting, “God should I change what I write so they won’t feel bad or be triggered?” and I often hear “just be honest”. 

I can’t change how I write, what I say, who I am. I just have to continue being myself. 

I know I am influential and I have a platform, but it’s a platform God gave me – not to please anyone, but to be 100 PERCENT myself. If I change what I write to please you, I’ll not be myself. I can try to communicate and understand your story, but I can’t change who I am to appease men. 

Please do not rely on me, please do not think I’m the ultimate voice. Please don’t put that much power in me.

I’m learning to live from a place of freedom versus fear, a place where I can be totally myself and not try to please anyone, or play defense all the time, just waiting for when someone gets ticked off and explodes.

I hope that there will be more people who actually tell the truth at all times and are not afraid of confrontation. 

I want these people in my inner circle and I believe it is a safe place to be, no judgement or rejection, but only honesty and love. We’ve all been hurt before, but it’s important to start speaking your truth to people even when it’s scary and know that you’re a child of God, loved by the heavenly Father.

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Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

MY TESTIMONY– https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

Prophetic Word- It’s A Yes & Amen

Yes and Amen

Prophetic Word- It’s A Yes And Amen

I was sitting at home and kept hearing go out to eat, I felt this feeling in my heart even if I wanted to deny it I could not.

I was trying to watch this movie called “When We First Met”. It’s about a guy who goes back in time trying to get the girl he thinks is his one but he actually realizes it is not her. But it all works out at the end. After I watched the movie I got a notification asking for a self tape for an acting project I had submitted for. I was surprised as I haven’t gotten anything for a long time.

I also got a notification that someone was trying to use my Agoda account and had tried to charge something on my old credit card. I also recently tried to use my credit card and today realized I had 2 of the same credit cards in my wallet.

One was old and I had somehow picked it up again thinking it was the new one and “transactions were denied and failed” to my surprise.

Today I destroyed the old credit card when I realized I still had the old one.

I felt like it was very symbolic of destroying old mindsets and beliefs, grief, disappointment, negativity.

That only the new could stay. I also had a dream that my debit card fell onto the floor and I picked it up (picking up your dreams that you layed down). I also had a dream where I told my brother Isaak to take out all the money from the credit card and go to Hawaii with it. I believe it is symbolic of taking out the dreams you’ve stored up to manifest them.

I was reminded of my dream yesterday where I was in Taiwan and I saw 2 kids from a popular Korean TV show (Return of the Superman). In the dream I yelled “my dreams came true!” I also had a dream where I was almost late for my flight out of Taiwan, but I had to run. Taiwan in my dreams usually mean childhood and childhood healings. I felt like God was saying you are graduating and things you’ve been praying for are about to happen.

So I went out and started running. I started to cry when I ate as I felt there were so many things that were delayed. I had just gotten an email to self tape audition for a project. I was tired of disappointments, delays but then when I went to eat, the waiter’s name was “hao”, which means YES in Chinese.

The day before a lady who I did not know gave me $3 and said “amen” 3 times, as in “YES it’s an amen, it is done”. I just passed by her at a bus stop and she suddenly handed me 3 $1 bills. She said nothing but those 3 amens. 

Then today I found this scarf and felt led to buy it. It was $3, it has faces of men on them and a German flag colors, reminding me of where I was born.

Then I felt led to sit near the front of the bus and a lady was on the phone with her husband. I asked “is it your husband?” She said “Yes”.

I felt led to get a boba drink, however, I walked around and could not feel right about any place. I’d stand in front of the cashier and linger. I did not feel it. I’d walk away, I walked away from 2 places and suddenly I thought of this strawberry smoothie. I went there and saw the manager I knew. I had not seen him for a long time (layed down dreams).

I suddenly asked “are you married?” and he said “almost, in one month”.

I felt the Lord say “it’s a YES AND AMEN” to what you’ve been waiting for.

DO NOT LINGER WHEN I CALL, FOR IN YOUR STEPS OF OBEYING THE SPIRIT YOU WILL SEE THE SIGNS of MANIFESTATION.

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MY TESTIMONY

Harvest is Coming! Sow A Seed Today!

Harvest is coming, sow a financial seed today!

I had a dream I was in a taxi car with a Nepal taxi driver, then they were bringing me to Fan Ran Gong center and I told them I was Christian, and I pointed them to a building with a cross on it. When I woke up God said have people sow, a HARVEST IS COMING! I also dreamed that I was in a car of 7 people and I was planning a birthday party in a new house. My birthday is 2/11.

Make a contribution- much love, may it be credited to your account in manifold blessings as it says in the bible. When you sow, you want to give to good soil, and this is good soil. Thank you for your partnership and love!  

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

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Monthly Partnership-

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Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!

MY TESTIMONY– https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

Please fast forward, the front page is a bit long. LOL.

Whatever you sow into this ministry, God is going to multiply.

How To Break Off The Fear of Lack 

God has told me when I don’t ask people to give I am robbing them of the blessings connected to me, giving is an act of breaking off the fear that you don’t have enough.

“He started downloading prophetic words to me for people.

In one vision I saw doors after doors lined up and I had the key to each door. Behind each door was a captive, each person had tape over her or his mouth and chains tying their hands together. They were immobile and stuck, unable to speak.

As I opened each door to free them a provision was available for me.

I see the words “fear of lack, fear of judgment, fear of rejection, fear of failure” marked on each person. But as I had the key to free them each fear fell off as I held their hand and led them out of that room of captivity.

You are leading people out of Egypt and as you do that, you will set people free from the bondage of mammon.”

Absent Father- God Adopted Me When My Father Left Us

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There are days where I slip into emotional darkness, for a minute I can feel the darkness.

But in that moment, God speaks to me. It breaks the darkness. All the lies go away.

These emotional darkness comes when I feel sad that my dad doesn’t talk to me. I start focusing on that, and I feel like I am lacking (he lives in Taiwan and I live in America, my parents divorced when I was 8 years old so I didn’t see him for 10 years and he doesn’t really talk to me. I fly to Taiwan to reach out to him. It’s for me, it’s not for him. It’s for me to heal, not necessarily for him. But the pain is real when I open up, and he doesn’t).

The lies that are attached to that are many- it’s my fault he doesn’t talk to me, I am not enough, I am less than, I need to do more.

The Lies- If I just do more, achieve more- people would see I’m worth loving, they would show love to me. If just look more beautiful, skinnier, they would notice me. If I just speak louder, they’d notice me. If I change who I am, they’d accept me.

I’ve tried everything before myself but realize that I was loved for who I wasn’t. It was never enough, it was exhausting. I realized I needed to just accept myself as I am in Christ, that He made me whole via the cross.

I was complaining to God, I feel like I don’t always want to be the one to ask people for donations, I want people to give without being asked.

Yesterday I was at a restaurant and felt led to sit at the bar and there was a handsome sushi chef. We talked a bit. He left for break, and I was wondering where he went. He came back once and then left again. I waited because I wanted to tell him he was handsome, but he didn’t come back. I felt foolish for being brave. 

But as I was explaining the scenario to my friend I suddenly realized that is how I feel with my dad. I am constantly brave. Last year the Lord told me to go to Taiwan, and I literally told my dad to pick me up from the airport the day before. I had been messaging him for 7 months with no reply. That’s when he finally responded. Yes, he would pick me up. 

Imagine, so messed up right?

But God I’m not brave anymore and I don’t want to be. It’s not fair. It’s unfair.

I get angry when people suggest that I reach out to him. I’ve been reaching out to him my whole life.

Don’t you think it’s a little unfair to push the responsibility on a kid? 

God I’ve gone around this mountain long enough and this is what you said.

“You’re not waiting for your dad to love you, you’ve always been enough, you’ve always had enough love. I have always been enough love for you.

The devil always makes you think you are lacking love, affection, but you actually have enough and you are enough.

If you look to people, it’ll never be enough. I am enough for you.”

Yes.

I am enough.

Humans can never give you the love that you need to feel like you are enough, but Jesus died on the cross for you to be enough. He took on every blemish on the cross to make you whole.

He says “you are my daughter, son. You are enough. Come to me and cast all your cares on me”. 

It’s not your fault they left. It’s not your fault that they betrayed you. It’s not your fault that they chose not to love you.

God told me to tell my dad how I felt so I did, was it easy? No. I just wrote him. Have no idea if he will read it.

If you grew up with an absent or abusive father, I pray the Lord heal your heart. Psalm 68:5 says, “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows, is God in his holy habitation.” 

Make a contribution- much love:

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

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Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!MY TESTIMONY- https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

Another way to support is to purchase a shirt. I think I’ve launched this 4 times already. It failed like 4 times. But again, perseverance. Click here to purchase shirts, sweatshirts, t-shirts, tanks in different sizes.

 

 

Prophetic Word- True Rest

A lot of people are not resting in me. They are striving and running around like chicken with their heads cut off, they are trying to get more, do more, be more, they are trying to iron the fat off their bodies, they are punishing themselves and eating less, eating foods that are not yummy, they are punishing themselves for having fat, blemishes on their faces, they are altering their faces with surgery, they are buying more trying to look cooler…

so many of my sons and daughters are not resting in me.

I wish they would see that if they’ll accept they are enough in me, that my Son Jesus has already taken on every blemish, fat, excess, not enough on the cross, sins, insecurities, mistakes, that they’d see I am so enough and they have been made perfect in my eyes.

I wish they would just surrender their getting, doing and just be.

Oh to flow and rest in my grace, in my spirit, there is water there, so much refreshment and life.

Oh to flow in my Spirit means everything is provided for, there is no fighting or striving, only rest. That rest doesn’t mean not doing anything, but flowing in ease, flowing in love, not fear. 

I keep wanting peoples’ hearts but they keep trying to perform for me, showing me, going ‘look daddy, look what I did!’ but they are running on a hamster wheel, exasperated.

I’m telling you ‘come sit and enjoy a meal with me’ and the table is layed out and there is much provision for those that will flow with me. You are saving for tomorrow, but you are living today in fear. So many of you are not trusting me for provision. You are saving for a rainy day not knowing that I am the provider. 

I am grieved because the table is so abundant with fullness but you are afraid of not having enough, because you are not sitting at my table, you are running to everything else but me.

Come feast with me, the life with me is full of fun and enjoyment. It is not filled with fear. It is bold and filled with laughter. It is filled with authenticity and raw love.

Come feast with me. Anything is possible. Come feast on the possibilities. We will have adventures no one will suspect, it will be our secret, some public, some a secret. We will hold hands and climb mountains, meet people, set people free, but it is all enjoyable, nothing a chore. 

I never called you to carry backpacks of false responsibility. If it’s not yours, don’t carry it. Move on, lay it down. Trust me to take care of them, whoever they are.

I am so good, and it’s so fun to walk with me!”

Partner with me today. Thank you! 

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!MY TESTIMONY- https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

Another way to support is to purchase a shirt. I think I’ve launched this 4 times already. It failed like 4 times. But again, perseverance. Click here to purchase shirts, sweatshirts, t-shirts, tanks in different sizes.

Prophetic Word- Confront The Fear

I woke up this morning feeling really paralyzed, I haven’t washed my hair for 2 days (a rare occasion), my period is coming and I realize I needed help to overcome the fear of punishment/condemnation. There was a situation that I needed to confront with my mother. I find that God uses money the most for me to confront fears. For example, asking her for money. Because that is the biggest source of worry and condemnation in her life.

We struggled with money growing up and God has sent me to live with her to help her break off the spirit and fear of lack. I had always grown up very independent but I never knew my worth as a child. I was ashamed to ask for help and prided myself in being independent.

Prophetic Word- DO THE ACTION THAT WILL CONFRONT THE FEAR 

We ask God to upgrade or promote us, but that means there are more opportunities for the public to criticize you. God will never give you more than what you can handle. Is it easy? HELL NO.
IT’S really hard.

And a big part of me wants to run and hide.

And I do, sometimes. I run and hide and I don’t want to put myself out there to be hurt or judged.

The more we can go to God to mend our wounds, the quicker we can get healed and walk forward.

When we submit to FEAR instead of listening to GOD, AS HARD AS IT IS IN THE MOMENT, we stagnate our progress.

We SO want to be in control, we want to be in a safe place emotionally, ALL THE TIME. We want to be in control of peoples’ reactions, but we can’t control them.

I pray all the time PROTECT MY HEART. But I still get hurt, I get wounded and I don’t want to get up. I want to hide.

“I’m RIGHT HERE” says the Lord.

He never left you nor forsook you.

I’m a safe place, says the Lord.

Today I pray the LORD BREAK OFF THE SPIRIT OF FEAR IN JESUS NAME. The vision I saw was a picture of me in a royal robe, a dress, I am royalty. You are royalty, nothing will phase you. You are deserving and worthy.

Knowing this, Ask God to Go with you to do the ACTION to confront the fear..

+ God may be asking you to confront a person
+ He may be asking you to step out of your comfort zone
Whatever it is, know that God is with you.
#bexprophetic

What is your BIGGEST FEAR? 

Telling people how you actually feel? Asking for help? Emotional, financial or spiritual help? Performing? Marketing yourself? Asking for a raise? Fundraising?

Please feel free to comment below. 

Partner with me today. Consider sowing $50, $100, $200, $500 or more today, thank you!

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!MY TESTIMONY- https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

Another way to support is to purchase a shirt. I think I’ve launched this 4 times already. It failed like 4 times. But again, perseverance. Click here to purchase shirts, sweatshirts, t-shirts, tanks in different sizes.

It's so easy to stay small, to stay in our comfort zone, to do what is familiar. But flowing in the wave of the holy spirit means stepping out into the unfamiliar. YES you might hate it at times, but God will always (1)

I have not gone into everything with boldness, I’ve gone into most things feeling the FEAR, feeling the apprehension, but God eases me and says “I’ve got you”. Fear is fake, fear is a skeleton that flaps his hands, he can do no harm.

UPDATE! IN THE LAST HOUR.

My Provision Testimony – 

So I had been worrying about finances as sometimes I’m afraid to move forward or go out as I don’t see a way (in the dream I was telling a friend that there was a deficit I had to pay off from last year) and then God gave me a dream where I was opening books (different books and each one had cash inside) and there was Taiwanese money inside one book, but I had left it somewhere.

In the dream the water in the pool became a slide. The water rose up and went down. And people were sliding down into this safe place.

And then this morning someone who lives in Taiwan sowed a seed. It was the exact amount I saw in the dream.

LOL.
Jesus.

So I don’t know what you are going through, God may not provide everything you need for a month, but He may provide what you need for the day.

Don’t live in fear because you don’t see a way for a few days, if He has given you enough for today, move forward in courage and live your life flowing with the Holy Spirit.

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Will You Support This Ministry?

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Okay, here’s the honest truth. A big part of me really hates asking for help. I like being self-sufficient, I like appearing like I have no problems (I grew up making my own money since I was 8) but I had a dream…here’s the dream. My friend Joy came to my house and I asked if she wanted a drink. I looked through my mom’s fridge and noticed all these energy drinks, pepsi, boba, aloe vera. I was wondering WHY there was so much stuff in the fridge. Then she went into the bathroom and I was trying to clean the hallways, and it was just a mess. I wanted it to be clean but it wasn’t. 

Then she said “you need to update me on what’s going on, are you able to do your own makeup or you want a makeup artist?” I said, isn’t there makeup artist? Then I wanted to ask her for $300 then I was afraid to.

Last month, fundraising was a bit slow, to be honest, I kind of give up. There is a $300 deficit from last year (month) that I need to pay off. Well, technically I started my ministry maxing out a $5000 credit card.

As you know I went to 14 countries to minister. I didn’t have the courage in the beginning to ask for help. But God eventually put that courage in me. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without peoples’ help.

My blog has more than 700 followers, and I have over 2000 ish facebook friends, but a part of me still wants to hide. I’ll message people individually and after like 10 I’m like that’s a lot already. Some people ignore my message, some people give it a thumbs up, but I’m like, “what’s the answer?”

Meaning, I don’t send my testimony to all 2000 friends because a part of me is afraid of judgement or rejection. And I feel like I can’t really deal with it, I mean seriously my mother’s rejection and yelling is already hard enough. 

Then the people who have judgement about fundraising.

But I know, that I am more than a conqueror and my job is to set people from the fear of lack, fear of rejection and judgement and so in that way, I can’t be afraid of it either. So I have to continue facing it. 

So while I’m asking God, what do you want me to do this year? 

He’s like “keep facing the fears and keep expanding your reach”. I’m not going to stop sending my testimony to people. 

I already know my message and I already know the gospel of grace. I’ve already mastered fighting demons and casting out demons, but of course the fear still tries to stop me. The judgements don’t seem to stop either. People want me to write a certain way, people want to control me, it’s all people really.

But yet, I keep listening to Jesus despite the noise.

Fear is our biggest enemy.

Today, I need your help. Are you able to sow $300, or any amount to help cover expenses from last year? And to give an overflow for this year’s work. I am not a big ministry like T.D. Jakes….yet. I’m a one person self-starter supported by pioneers, people who get what I’m trying to say. 

I’m not going to give up.

And I don’t believe you will either. Partner with me today. Consider sowing $50, $100, $200, $500 or more today, thank you!

Venmo –https://venmo.com/Rebekkalien

PayPal- https://www.paypal.me/rebekkalien

Zelle- rebekkalien@gmail.com

Monthly Partnership-

https://rebekkalien.blogspot.com/

Thank you for partnering with me to reach people for Christ!MY TESTIMONY- https://rebekkalien.com/2019/12/23/my-testimony/

Another way to support is to purchase a shirt. I think I’ve launched this 4 times already. It failed like 4 times. But again, perseverance. Click here to purchase shirts, sweatshirts, t-shirts, tanks in different sizes.

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