This is a prophetic word.
I woke up from a dream where I was telling someone that my mom gives to my brother whatever he wants but nothing for me. I come home and throw all the piano books to the ground. My mom says what is wrong? I tell her and say “I’m starving!”
I run out and find the guy I liked (this is in the same neighborhood and the same guy from my dream yesterday) and tell him what happened.
Later I’m at a table and my mom shows me a picture of her with a guy. I can tell she has compromised herself, she has lowered her standards to be with him.
In the dream I start crying because I feel for her but for every woman who has given up who she is to be with someone.
I suddenly don’t feel mad at her.
When I woke up I heard God say “most people are not living at the level of intimacy that I desire for them”.
There is a level of intimacy God longs for us and He is currently doing a deep healing and work in our hearts. He said that most people do not say what’s really are their minds and they hold back because of fear.
Yesterday there was noise next door and I told the receptionist. When I came back my roommates said “that’s what you were doing? Why didn’t you just tell them directly?” I said because I’ve been through this enough to know most people get really mad and offended and I don’t need to deal with it, which is true in this case.
She said “well I can deal with any noise”. Well I can’t. And I have to confront these issues head on. I have to speak up for my sake, and I shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for it.
How many times do we drown out how we really feel by ignoring it? We don’t tell others how we really feel because we fear rejection or we fear drama?
We silence ourselves or isolate ourselves instead of facing the rejection that we may face for being authentic.
In that moment of standing up for what I wanted, I realized I was different from the girls. And that when we live our truths we need to face being outcasted by others.
What is something you’ve been wanting to say to someone but have been fearing their reactions? God wants us to live in truth and by being vulnerable we will grow in our relationships.
What is something you’ve been holding back from God?
Anger? Bitterness? God can take it all. He will listen. He’s not just there when you’re happy but when you’re at your worse. We often present the best version of ourselves to others but true intimacy is about showing the most vulnerable part of yourself at all times.
Give- Consider sowing into the kingdom and into the hearts of people around the world.