I’m sitting in a boat, mist drops, cold breeze, nothing.

It is silent.

There were bees in my room, buzzing around a light, I couldn’t figure out why I was asleep with bees in my room.

All the venomous spiders roamed around weaving webs, strong as cords, bouncing from place to place.

The ocean rippled and roared. I sat silently trying not to wince.

“It is in the silence that you will find God”

I gave up looking, striving, finding, searching because I don’t know what I’m looking for, not sure what I want either.

Perhaps I simply want to find peace, to be at peace with myself.

Even when the droplets of water start blurring my vision, storms making me sick and cold, even when I find myself alone in the boat.

I want to find my soul settled, when I dip my head into deep waters, hold my breath and let go. Peace my child.