heart surgery

bright lights dim lights

those lights that shine on holidays, the lights that flash while I wait for the train  to pass

the cars waiting behind me, oblivious, i turn and spin making a 180

heart surgery,

like skin burning, flaking, skinning off

like skin with blood and brain and guts, eating flesh

everyone needs it, heart surgery

tears and flames, sometimes i wish

that i could walk towards death and meet God

complain and waver and sit on this orange carpet

im waiting for death, the only thing that I can glory in

because this heart surgery

is a little overwhelming,

It didn’t give me some numbing drugs to soften the effect of this impact so hideous and ugly

I guess heart surgery is something we all need