The other day I awoke. A faint singing in my head. I sat in puzzlement, could it be memories clouding my judgment. I decided to let you go…for it soiled the life I wanted to live. With everyday I laugh and cry, this life is worth living.

Each day I feel like I touched you two times, life will pass me by twice.  For each time I wake to the sun, shining fervently on this face of mine, I sense I have awaken from another reality.

This reality, so vivid.  I held your hands, firmly we walked this path, in the darkness we walked.  I had you and you never let go.  So much happened, I can’t remember.  All sadness, All sweetness.  Bittersweetness marred me, marred you.   It dwindled, it faded, the tear that dripped, vapor of pain.

Vapor of pain turned this time into life, incarnational.

I laughed and the whole world turned bright colors.  And He said, “It is good”.  The first thing God did in the whole history of human- kind?  He created.  He looked proudly upon His creation and said, “it is good”.  It reflected Him, we reflect our creator.  I look at all the bright colors of the earth and I say, “it is good”.

So this pain?  It is good to me.  Though I have not created some, mostly, it is good for my soul to know what beauty is in my pain- wrenching me apart subtley.  Yet in the bathtub, I stare at my own reflection- this pain will only be momentary.  Beauty surpasses this thorn in my heart.  It accentuates and illuminates broken pieces of glass so small I can not even see.