I grew up in a Christian home, but didn’t exactly understand grace until later in life.
Grace is undeserved.
That means Jesus died so I can have complete forgiveness and in God’s eyes I’m perfect. I know it doesn’t make sense but that’s the true gospel.
That means no amount of volunteer work, being nice and kissing ass can help my status in the books. I’m whole and accepted and loved.
That also means if my heart feels depraved and I’ve been depressed and if I fuck up, I’m still perfect in God’s eyes because it’s no longer about works, it’s faith. He has taken the punishment for me. It’s done. It was done once I accepted in faith.
But recently I decided to not be Christian anymore because it’s just a label and to be honest, “christian” comes with so many bad connotations. It’s just a fucked up word. I have faith in Jesus. That’s all.
I have a spiritual life and I’m a spiritual being having a physical experience.
You see I was hurt by the mentors that told me I’d live a life of destruction because I chose to leave the church, or people who tried to control me, tried to make me the conventional Christian.
They’d gawk when they saw me dance. Damn this girl is sensual.
God made me sensual. I’m a sensual, sexy mother fucker, deal with it.
And God loved me to death and rose again.
I love that nothing I can do will change my position in his heart, beloved he calls me everyday.
I shine brighter each day as I feel the unconditional love…
And if anyone says you need to change before you encounter God, think again. That’s works. No amount of works can get you to heaven on earth. Just believe and see your life transform.
Oh and on another note.
I love this.