Just a catchy title.

But this blog post is about the reality of traveling…for those that admire that I sold and gave away almost everything to be homeless for a few months, half a year. Guess what, I didn’t do it as an escape, I did it because I felt the spirit leading and I needed to prioritize what I valued in life. 

Traveling IS actually NOT easy (Specifically talking about solo travel). 

Yes, I know you see people posting these HD photos of oceans and mountains, but it’s not easy because…if you’re not “vacationing” and staying on an island for a week, and you’re actually straight up having a coming of age, spiritual awakening, journey of growth and healing, it will fuck you up good. 

If you want to grow and you’re not just there to get drunk and make out with random backpackers….then yes you are going to have a difficult and AMAZING time growing as a person.

WHY is TRAVELING not easy: 

1. If you don’t like yourself, you will need to spend time with yourself like a lot. I spend about 95% of my time by myself. So if your thoughts drive you mad, and you can’t control it or find peace, then you might just go mad. Get ready to face the shit that you are unwilling to face back home.
2. It’s uncomfortable- obviously. Like when people yell at you or grab your arm when they’re trying to sell you t-shirts on the streets, this happened to me in Bali. So no, I don’t like Bali as much as I like other cities on the earth. So no, not everyone will like the picturesque places that people keep posting on instagram.
3. If you’re on a budget…it’s uncomfortable: yes hostels are great, but when there are 24 beds in one room. I’ve had to grow some boldness by telling a guy to turn down his fucking music because I need to sleep.
4. It’s all about healing the junk in your heart- If you’re ready to face some prejudices, racism, uncomfortable situations, tiredness, weariness, sleepiness, bug bites, being stranded on an island when your card stops working, trusting God to save your ass, not killing the guy who keeps pervertedly staring at you, healing the prejudices in your own heart, healing from past breakups, letting go of past unforgiveness, forgiving people, forgiving everyone who wrongs you on the trip, try to not be a jackass when people don’t serve you with the same politeness that people serve you back home….
5. Accidents and shit might happen- I got into a moped accident and couldn’t walk for two weeks (AND YES I was crying, it hurt like a mother fucker! and I was ALONE but thank God this dude came and took the heavy moped off my foot. I was in my hotel room for the next 5 nights showering alone with a plastic bag around my leg, room servicing, watching MTV, and resenting that I couldn’t swim but then….learning to rest) this is when God told me to slow the fuck down and rest. Some stomach uneasiness in Thailand, being harassed by men in all of southeast asia.

So when people ask me “how is__________?  (insert city)

I don’t reply, because it’s not going to be like one sentence “oh it’s beautiful”.

My answers are always going to be about what God is doing in my life…so my answer is more like “I had some shit going on back home, and it was unresolved, and I was worried about it while I was traveling and I had a fucking hard time letting it go because I needed or thought I needed to resolve it before I got on my flight, but it was unresolved….anyways, I spent the next month learning to trust God and letting it go…and I’m still learning after 5 months”.

OR….

“So while I was sitting at a hostel in Singapore, my friend and I skype and then she said these magical words…’you know it wasn’t your fault. None of what has happened in your life, or where you are is your fault’- specifically pertaining to how I felt like I wasted 2.5 years dating a guy that didn’t have the same goals in life….those words magically broke the self-judgement I had placed on myself and suddenly, I felt free as a bird..”

And the inner HEALING has been the best things that have happened to me when I travel. Learning that:

1. Everything that has ever happened in your life had to happen for you to become the amazing person you are today.
2. You meet the people you’re supposed to meet at the right time and at the right place.
3. When you let go and just have fun, amazing shit happens.
4. It’s not about where you go in life, it’s about learning to cherish the moment because you are always here and now. 

XOXO BEX.

And look there were REALLY AMAZING TIMES, but I also want to clear up some weird misunderstanding that leaving everything is easy and fun. It’s hella not. If you saw what I had to go through, learning to let go of the couch that I LOVE and spend so many nights WATCHING netflix no, crying on my bathmat about letting my career go…

Dude. Yah.