Recently I’ve come to the conclusion that communication is everything. So many of us are sitting in a puddle of hurt, unable to move, stuck on the ground. I believe communication helps us to live our dreams, love and receive love, become the change we seek to see in the world…plus much more. Communication is how we live in this world.
You see, I grew up in an Asian home where SILENCE was communication. My mom would simply not talk to me for days, never apologized and simply ignore the fact that she said some pretty hurtful things.
So basically, the elders were never wrong.
In certain cultures, age matters. In America, being young is awesome, but in Asia, being young means you know nothing…or the elders say.
I shut down my heart because I felt that my feelings didn’t matter. I felt ignored and felt that being strong meant not feeling or pretending that I was not hurt.
This is the worse kind….to not be able to express is like death for the soul and heart.
You see, we have emotions for a reason. Our emotions help us navigate whether someone has crossed our boundaries (anger), whether we’ve lost something we’ve loved (sadness and grieve), whether we’re excited and thrilled because we are doing something we love or we are communing with our loved ones (happiness)…there’s others, shock (when someone crosses our boundaries), that’s where post-traumatic stress often comes from…trauma from childhood, etc.
I’ve gotten to a point of healing where I can detect my heart. That is why I often talk to people and see right through their BS and cover-ups…”WHAT’S WRONG?” I ask.
Often peoples’ faces are indicators of what’s wrong. Our society often encourages us to talk about “nothing”…I don’t want to hang out, I want to dig deep. We can say a bunch of random things about what’s going on and what crossed us, but to speak from our hearts…well, that’s another thing.
When’s the last time you spoke from your heart? When’s the last time you spoke about what really mattered to you? Not what you achieved or accomplished, you cleaned the house, fed the dog, went for a run…okay, but how’s your heart doing? Are you hurt that the guy never called you? Have you been grieving the lost of the last season of life? Are you scared that you’ll never find the right partner? Do you feel stuck because everyone else is traveling, but you are sitting at home not knowing what to do with your life?
It’s human to feel, actually it’s our feelings that ultimately tell us whether we are happy or not.
Don’t we all just want to be happy?
So why do we cover up our true emotions with bullshit like what you ate for breakfast or a bunch of selfies that have nothing to do with how you truly feel.
It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to feel. It’s okay to feel discouraged.
That’s the beginning, acknowledging your true emotions so we can dig up the lie, the discouragement and dump it if it is not helping you.
I realized that I had certain preferences in my life. For example, I’m a healer and prophetess, I speak hope and dreams into people and help them live their dreams. However, that means I cannot be bombarded by random gossip and bullshit. I need a lot of time alone so I can process and clean my mind and spirit. I need to be in silence. I know my love language is touch and encouragement, gifts are 3rd. I don’t need mindless hangout time, actually I’d rather have one hour of intense communication than a whole day of interactions with human beings. I like to read and write, but I can dance and be social in bursts. Give me enough alone time and when I interact with you, I’ll be at my best. I’m methodical, logical, strategic. I think over everything, but in creativity, I go with the flow. I know my vision in life and make decisions based on it, however, I’m also instinctive and intuitive.
So how well do you know yourself and what you need?
Because when you figure out what kind of personality and preferences you have, you can better communicate those needs to your loved ones. Then there’s no mindless….omg I can’t stand that person….well, why not and are you communicating your boundaries and respecting your own?
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