I’m Not American, but I’m Los Angelesian

Traveling a lot makes you see how much people hate Americans or have seriously demented ideas of Los Angeles.

I get several responses when I say I’m from Los Angeles.

1. OHHHHHhhhHHH, do you see celebrities??

2. Oh, Los Angeles. People talk like this “ommmmggggg!! ?? Like seriously???” right?

3. Are you Republican, and crazy American patriot, do you hate gays?

All of which are…beyond far from the truth. I did get one Aussie who said, “yah don’t girls dance like this?” and he had his ass up in the air, shaking it like it’s hot. No, no, no.

No, none of us, none of us sane people actually watch The Hills. No, we don’t really like Orange County, or whatever that show is. No, I don’t even own a freaking TV.

Then I, of course, had this drunken fight at a Travel Store in Sydney. There were no fists or blood involved. However, there was this European dude who insisted how much he hated Los Angeles and how he had a private tour guide to show him the INSIDER’S VIEW OF LOS ANGELES. Give me a freaking break. I said, “no offense, but you really need a local to show you the ropes”.

He wouldn’t take that answer. He said, “Los Angeles just sucks”.

Because he was so drunk, I couldn’t eloquently give my Los Angeles speech. So here goes, these are the questions I would ask him.

1. Did you get a local to show you around Santee Alley, take you around the freaking amazing hotdog and taco stands made by legit Mexicans?

2. Did you get an Asian to show you Alhambra and San Gabriel, Asian central, full of freaking amazing BOBA milk teas, phos, chinese food, dim sums, shaved ice, the list goes on.

3. Let me guess, you walked on Hollywood Blvd and did all the touristy things?

4. Did you know a hip avant garde lady like me who would have known all the best clubs to go dance in?

5. Did you go to the little areas of Los Angeles such as Ktown, China Town, Thai Town, etc, etc?

Did you eat good food? – then probably no, you did not really see Los Angeles.



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