I’m going to share a lot of things on this blog post. I felt the Lord wanted me to help people get free from guilt and condemnation having to do with finance. It will NOT be what you expect. What I tell you will not be anything anyone has ever preached.
The time when the Lord told me to sell everything and follow Him, I was still paying credit card payments. Having been an entrepreneur, I accrued some debt. Well, I lived under torment and guilt everyday. If you recall my story of following Jesus, I had given my last $200 as an offering when he asked me “whose house are you building, yours or mine?”
I was staying at my friend’s house also helping with her spiritual life.
The Lord told me to stop making payments on my credit cards.
Now that seems contrary to what we are told. But the Lord will tell you things that make no sense at first.
A song came on that day “I’ve paid your debt”. Jesus has paid your debt.
It was the most freeing feeling I’ve ever felt. There are many people that have had common experiences but are afraid to tell their stories. Just a week before that a friend was telling me how God supernaturally waived her debt and of other financial miracles.
When I couldn’t pay my rent any longer it was a friend who said “I slept in a car with my 2 sons” that made me feel like wow, I’m not the only one.
There’s a lot of shame and condemnation having to do with finances. And perhaps that is why God is having me write this.
In all honesty, there are times I fear lack. I’m out here on international land and I have to trust God completely with finances. I am feeding God’s sheep, sharing God’s love with the world and sometimes that is scary not knowing when a donation will come in.
When I first started out, I was living at my mom’s house. When God told me to get going, to book a ticket, I didn’t know how I was going to survive. In Taiwan, my dad helped me and I thought I was going to continue being a missionary/pastor there but the Lord said “keep going, there are assignments for you”.
I went to Korea, there I basically ran out of money and had to use my credit card. Up until then living with my mom, every month my bills were paid but now I had to really trust God.
I hadn’t come out yet as a full time minister and missionary as I still felt a lot of fear of judgement. Before when I fundraised for mission trips, I was met with the religious spirit. People told me “you don’t go to my church anymore, I won’t support you”.
In South Africa I had about $20 when the Lord said “it’s time to come out”. So I put myself out there, I realized that I was worthy of my calling and that I was changing and saving lives every day. And even if judgement comes I am righteous in God’s eyes.
That night the Lord told me to pray for a lady in the bathroom and He told me to give most of what I had left. I prophesied over her that she is enough, that she lacked nothing as she is a child of God.
We were crying and hugging each other. A friend of mine asked why I would give when I was in need.
It’s breaking off the spirit of lack and the fear of lack. God’s ways make no sense to the world but it’s says “seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you”.
Up until my entrepreneurial days, I was living my own dreams asking God to bless it but His kingdom was sort of secondary. I wanted to spread the gospel my way- through the success of my career.
But He had to strip me of my own capabilities, my own ability, my own independent so that I could preach GRACE alone. Grace is not something I can do on my own, grace is God doing it for me.
Some will never see the heavenly kingdom I am sowing into, but they will never reap what they haven’t sowed.
I was surprised when the first seeds started coming in. I realized that I had underestimated myself. That I was hiding and hoping that people will see my worth and worth in my purpose.
My credit card has since stopped working and I live solely off the provisions of the Lord, trusting Him as my provider and shepherd.
The truth is my calling and purpose is connected to billion of souls. What I breakthrough, others who are connected to me will breakthrough in. Whatever miracles I see in my lifetime, if they are connected to me, they will see also.
I am the only Asian woman I know who has followed Jesus in this way- selling everything to follow Him in trust.
Sure, I know some white people who’ve done it. I know Jackie pullinger. I know some missionaries in the past- but not many Asian women, if any. If you know them; please tell me.
So if you believe that Jesus writes down your name when you sow a seed, consider sowing a seed today.
I know a lot of what I write may seem contrary to what preachers preach and no one has told their story like I have- but trust me this.
God is out to free you- not condemn you.
The Lord told me “use what you have and more will be given to you”. That’s faith.
God is stretching my faith this year. There are people that needs to be reached by me, in countries that I will need to get to. I believe God will provide for His kingdom work.
Will you be a kingdom warrior sowing into the lives of people?
Sow a seed- Your giving makes changing lives possible as I minister to and share the gospel of grace to people in the world!
I believe your giving breaks off the spirit of lack and causes God to multiply what you give to Him.