The enemy of our soul often makes us feel like we are lacking, like life will be better “WHEN___________ (this happens)”. Whatever this is.
When I buy a new car, I’ll be happier.
When I buy that dress, I’ll be happier.
When my husband comes, I’ll be happier.
When money comes, I’ll be happier.
When I retire, I’ll be happier.
When I get to this or that country, when I travel, I’ll be happier.
All of those mindsets are actually based on the spirit of lack, not abundance.
You already have what you need to do what you need to do, or even want to do.
When you realize your identity in Christ Jesus, you live from a spirit of “enough”. I am enough because of what Jesus did on the cross for me, I am not lacking.
Your bills might be late, you might have debt in the human realm, your husband or wife might be mad at you, your children might be out there somewhere and you have no control over them (rightly so), you might have acne on your face, you might have a layer of fat on your stomach, you might have high cholesterol, but in Christ you are whole.
So how do we live in that wholeness?
Because we live in a world that is imperfect and there always seems to be some kind of problem – such as my phone that is dead and resurrected a few times, a black hole in the center of the screen, cracked screen. Life can be frustrating.
And I found myself feeling uneven. God I’m doing all this for you, I layed down my life for you, and this is what I get?
I get a half working phone, fear of lack, and mean spirited people? I get noises all night preventing me from sleeping throughout the night?
I found myself wanting to cry and even wanting to die at times.
That’s the truth, it was so fierce.
Then I realize it was spiritual warfare.
This is the enemy lying to me- “you are not enough, you don’t have what it takes, God is not enough for you, you need to stop doing God’s work and go home, just live a normal life will you? Look, God is not providing for you. Look, others get to have some luxurious life but you are living in an 8 bed dorm with people snoring, phones going off in the middle of the night, people who don’t respect you….it’s endless isn’t it? Is this even worth it? Doing God’s work, touching lives?”
I was bombarded with lies, with attacks, thoughts that drove me to the wall.
These distractions, even the noises, the tv playing in the middle of the night made me crazy. I found myself waking up in the middle of the night and going outside saying to the people talking “will you quiet down because I can hear you inside” to taking off the freaken wind chime off the wall and telling someone to lower the volume on the TV.
Those noises were symbolic of the noises (lies) of the enemy.
This morning a light bulb went off.
YOU ARE ENOUGH. You are not lacking. I started counting every blessing and thanking God for everything. God thank you for the hair on my head, thank you for functioning legs and feet, thank you for the breathe in my lungs, thank you for my hands that can type this blog post. Thank you God that I’ve been able to survive and I’ve been to more countries than most people.
Thank you God that I didn’t get robbed. Thank you God you kept me safe in all these countries. Thank you God that no one attacked me physically. Thank you Lord.
Then I realize that the enemy OFTEN WANTS US TO FOCUS ON WHAT WE DON’T HAVE right now. He wants us to focus on lack so that we would not live in our true identity as sons and daughters of God.
But even if you have nothing on your back and no wallet or bank account, you are rich in Christ Jesus. Jesus paid to have you as His son or daughter and you are royalty. This identity is not dependent on the clothes you wear, the house you live in, if you have a car or not. It’s not dependent on your new or no phone. Your identity is not dependent on what others think of you….
YOU ARE A CHILD of God and this identity is unshakable, immovable.
I might not be able to take photos most of the time with my half working phone, there might be a black dot on the screen and the right side looks like the terminator.
I might be living in an 8 bed dorm with tv blasting at all times during the day. I might have a little carry on and not enough “pretty” clothes. I might be wearing a $5 shirt from Japan, and socks for $1. I might have a non-flat stomach and sometimes I notice some fat on my chin.
I might be annoyed and uncomfortable, but I am enough in Christ Jesus.
I might not always know how I will continue, I might not know where the money is coming from, but I am enough in Christ Jesus and He is enough for me.
God is my Good Father and He knows your needs. Wait patiently, and battle patiently when those thoughts come. I pray the Lord give you wisdom and may God remove any lies about your worth in Jesus name.
I am enough now, not in the future. I am enough now.
To Sow A Seed to This Ministry and what I am doing around the world, bringing Jesus’ love to people.
Rebekka (missionary, prophet, pastor – qualified only by the blood of Jesus).