In 11 days I’ll be landing in Los Angeles after 3.75 months. I’ve been broken and grown in ways I couldn’t imagine, I feel like I’m a new person. I went through boot camp! It was intense man. But somehow I feel renewed and energized, I’m willing to live out what’s next and let my heart be set on fire, sensitive to God’s voice, and learning to love and be loved.

As posted on facebook.

My soul has been softened to hear God better. That took lots of turmoil and challenges.

Again I can’t better express but through a poem-

Demons and devils, they hunt me down at night

I see their shades of black roaming about the room

I pray for protection, softly falling into my dreams

The 4 months in Asia, hell and fire broke lose.

My own inhibitions, like fire setting the forest dried and forlorn

The lamps shake in fear, I traveled up to a bus, off a bus, off a mountain, onto a bike

hostels, roads, backpack in hand, luggage in the other

People with advice came and gone

I alone sat in my room, I alone I alone

I cried and laughed, when alone I longed to be with a friend

When too much people surrounded me, I wanted to be alone

It’s a conflicting lifestyle

never ending it seemed, blankets and carpets, laundry unwashed

The tired sojourner got massages, nails done, primp and hair salon

what i thought would relaxe me gave me a headache when curls pulled too tight

strangers gave me the wrong direction, and I alone I alone, lost again

There’s much to do when alone, yet no one to share with

the spirit beckons and holds, His hand always holding me, no one could understand

only He can when my socks lost and shoes hurt my toes.

Just a little while, He said. I am preparing you for great things, things to change you and the world.

A life worth living.

Father

4 years ago, I would’ve cared less, for your death or if you were under a truck, dead

This year, I stare into your life

nothing, empty and wasted

who will love you? you have failed, you have failed everyone around you

who will love you? 4 years ago I would’ve cared less

I know God would, God is your father and you are his son

and I, well your daughter, but also God’s daughter.

But who raised me? God did.

who will love you earthly father? God will.

As for me, I will too. 4 years ago I would’ve shot you down

father father, I suppose I’ve never really meant it when i called you that

maybe you should call out to both of our Father. the real Father.

who will love you? He will.

Taiwan will always be my home, one of my home. I love the food, I love the people, I love the place. This is where I had 4 years of my childhood, my blood is here. Shuangxi is one of my homes too, it’s a little village up in the mountains. There are greens and lakes, fishes and nature to fulfill you. Taiwan holds a special place in my heart because like Los angeles, it’s near a beach, surrounded by waters. I love water and I love the beach.

I HEART TAIWAN. The end. 🙂 I’m leaving you in 11 days and I can’t bear to say goodbye, especially to my friends here. I will miss you all, you have made my life more special, more full, more happy because of you alls.

We have shared tears, laughter, fun together. Thank you for sharing your life with me. I don’t know when I will see you all again, but I know we are fated to be friends. Those moments we traveled our lives together, that was God-given, a gift from heaven. Though we now part, I pray the best for your life, I pray for true joy and peace and hope.

Just wanted to say all that before life takes us full speed and we forget each other once more.

All quotes-

Rather, the results in others are indirect effects from our lives, echoes of our living ring down distant bells, quietly, impartially, implacably reaching out to the most secluded, almost forgotten hamlets of men.

In our teaching of men, we hardly do more than the housemaid’s chore of raising the blinds to let sunlight stream into the house. The teacher’s work is to remove the impediments to a man’s own seeing, to remove the things that would block the light. He cannot reach into another man’s mind to insert knowledge; neither can he furnish the light to to that mind by which it will see the truth. He merely sets nature free to work, as a doctor’s medicine allows nature to throw off a disease; his is the humble work of helping nature, imitating its procedures, but never supplanting it. He  takes another by the hand and leads him from known truths into the unknown gradually, showing the steps to be taken by his contrasts, his examples, his similes, hoping the learning mind will follow the steps and come to truth. He cannot offer the comfort of a superior intellect, as a angel can, for in fact his intellect is not superior; it is of exactly the same kind as that of his student. He brings the material for knowing to the mind of his student, lays that material out in order, removes the impediments to knowing;; and then hopes for the splendid result of knowledge.

loneliness is a universal human condition

it’s not forever, but it’s here now

it creeps up on you, it’s in you, it surrounds you

loneliness is the condition of not being known

a person can only know you to one extent but not the full

i dont even know myself

only God knows us

loneliness is extinguished when we know our creator and the way He’s made us

unique and special

loneliness is life-long until we meet our creator

our hearts will always long for the way relationships were meant to be

unconditional, full, forever