Tag Archives: life

Dreams, I Know About Dreams

27 Jan

 

Dreams.

Yah, I know about dreams. I dream about my dreams. I wake up with a story in my head, about my dreams.

I am a dreamer, I am a doer, I listen to my spirit and when the season says to wait, I wait. This is with extreme hardship of NOT getting off my ass and doing, cuz I’m a doer. Oh, I know about dreams. I know what it feels like to bleed for my dreams.

I know the discouragement and depression of jumping out the box, the norm of sanity.

Oh, I know about dreams. I know about insanity. I know how it feels like when people look at me with the expression of “she’s insane, why she be doing that?”, the feeling of being questioned, interrogated, misunderstood. Babe, don’t tell me I don’t know about dreams.

I know how it feels to bleed for my dreams. I know how it feels to work out of little resources, to feel the humiliation of not being able to afford food. To say “hold up”, I can’t meet up cuz I don’t have a penny to spare. Don’t tell me I don’t know about dreams.

I bleed for my dreams because I believe in it, I believe in myself and the potential my dreams have. I gave birth to them, everyday I am giving birth to new ideas and I aint letting them fade. I grab onto my ideas with my whole being, I may despair and lord knows (my friends) know my daily ups and downs, crying one minute, laughing another (the joy of being human- emotions).

I know about dreams, the world is so big inside my heart, it’s bursting forth, unable to contain itself. It’s creating worlds around me, atmospheres and people are influenced by them.

The seasons are changing and dreams are birthing, it was not an easy child birth- trust me.

I bled for them.

The best dreams are bled for, not handed to you. 

Thank you to all those that have supported me during this birthing stage. You will be blessed 10 fold, I promise- the child is a world changer.

Do you have any dreams that you are willing to sacrifice and bleed for? If so, what and what is stopping you? Remove all obstacles (fear).

When you are used to being the queen, it is hard to consider democracy replacing lone rule

16 Jan

Me in Germany

“when you are used to being the queen, it is hard to consider democracy replacing lone rule”- tracks

“For many outback people, the effect of almost total isolation coupled with that all-encompassing battle with the earth is so great that, when the prizes are won, they feel the need to build a psychological fortress around the knowledge and possessions they have broken their backs to obtain. That fiercely independent individualism was something akin to what I was feeling now- the stiffness, the inability to incorporate new people who hadn’t shared the same experience. I understood a facet of Alice Springs, and softened towards it, at that moment”- tracks

I tend to read books that happen to mirror my thoughts, my season of life. Robyn Davidson was a heroic woman who set out into the outbacks of Australia with camels by herself. I can’t tell you what happened in the desert yet because I’m only on page 75. However, the quotes above hit home for me. I live in this very environmental, hippie, vegan lifestyle, conserve everything neighborhood called Silverlake. I love meat and I don’t hug trees, but I have become used to living a communal lifestyle of sharing and living simply. Because I’ve started my own business and have to pay bills, I pretty much live month to month.

When I walk into grocery stores and shopping malls, I feel like a foreign alien. Some of my thoughts include “omg, why are people wasting money on nonsense?”, “I feel like an alien right now”, “so many people walking around”, “why do the same race congregate together”. I have slowly become some type of modern monk, but a woman. I haven’t bought groceries for 3 weeks and I borrow all my books.

Sometimes I feel myself relating to this: “That fiercely independent individualism was something akin to what I was feeling now- the stiffness, the inability to incorporate new people who hadn’t shared the same experience.”

But when I’m eating with friends that don’t live the same lifestyle, enjoying music, dancing to house music with them- I realize, we are all the same, just human with feelings and a spirit. You can choose to be prejudiced or you can choose to dance the music of life with people who are vastly different from you.

My 3-4 months of cleansing, building a new identity in being, and conversing with God has been taxing at times. Sometimes I find myself oversleeping, sometimes mad and impatient of waiting, sometimes bored, sometimes overwhelmed with my business, sometimes wishing my business was doing better, sometimes wishing I had no debt, sometimes worried and depressed from loneliness, yet…I know that nearing 24, this is a pivotal time in my life. This cleansing process is worth the journey. It is it’s own reward and hopefully (cross my fingers), next month I’ll be a better person, a more soul-filled, settled, rested, peaceful person who can love and BE better. I’ll be a better person for the world.

Why You Should Become Friends With Strangers

11 Jan

Yes, the saying goes “don’t talk to strangers”, but you’ll probably never make friends in LA.

Lately I’ve been thinking, wow, I’m kind of bored. I mean I have great friends, but many of them have moved, and well, I don’t feel intellectually stimulated. Life is getting too mundane or something. I’m working on my business, freelancing, but there’s nothing too out of the norm (in my opinion of course, because most people would say my life is not mundane, it’s too eccentric). Because I’m literally broke due to investing in my business, and can’t really go out all that much…I’ve been inspired to “think outside the box”.

Ways in Which I have made friends:

1. Tumblr.com- yes, I have met someone in Australia and became friends with through tumblr.

2. Yelp.com- I’ve shout out for clubs in Boston and made a friend who was a promoter, and got to get VIP status when I got there. Had the most fun at a gay club.

3. Modelmayhem- collaborating on shoots, became friends.

4. On the street- yes, I talk to strangers on the street

5. Clubs- I like to dance with strangers as well, especially if they’re good dancers. I have met really cool and interesting people at clubs (not creepers).

6. On airplanes, buses, public transportation- when I sit next to anyone, they become my friend

7. Cafes and Starbucks- wear something interesting and people will compliment on it- or vice versa, compliment other people and you might just become friends. However, I find that some people are so antisocial, they’ll say “thanks” and end the convo by walking away.

 ”You totally just missed your chance to be friends with someone SO unique and SO cool, too bad for you”- I think.

8. Hostels- great place to meet travelers, however, since I live in LA, no more of that :( BUT not to worry, me be planning another trip very soon!

9. Parties- this I find tricky because at parties, I feel like I can never sit down to talk in depth- and in LA for some reason, people never follow up.

10. COPY shops- yes, copy shop not coffee shop. Best ever.

11. At the bank- yes became friends with the banker :)

12. Email- find someones’ blog appealing? Email them and say “I want to be friends cuz you’re so awesome”.

The key is – the other person has to have the desire to be your friend.

Friendship is a two way street. You can never force friendship. This leads to my inspired 2012 MEETING WEIRD AND AWESOME PEOPLE year. I need to meet more interesting, weird, nonconventional people. So the answer to “why you should become friends with strangers”- what is life about? That’s the answer.

Feel free to email me and connect- rebekkalien@gmail.com I’m always up to meet people.

The Life of An Atypical Third Cultured Taiwanese Woman- “Freedom Begins in Your Soul, Not in Your Circumstances”

4 Jan

It’s been almost 3 months since I’ve come back from Australia.

A lot has changed, pre – Australia and post- Australia.

I knew that every time I got on the airplane for a trip overseas, seasons of my life would change, pages in my book will flip. None of the changes in my life are subtle, they are drastic, refreshing, sometimes slow…yet, still always huge and intense.

  1. I’ve been 3 months into my jewelry business
  2. I’ve met tons of people randomly, at the copy shop, on the streets, in cafes, online, you name it…
  3. I worked for a gifts company freelance, at times working 9 hours straight and meeting lots of people through it
  4. I’ve danced a lot coming back
  5. I’ve sort of settled into stable relationships and learned to nestle instead of bounce around
  6. I’ve been living month to month for the last 3 months, at times suffering, yet most times, gaining wisdom from my circumstances.
  7. I’ve found PEACE in “being”, instead of finding identity from “doing”. Out of “being” I have been able to rest even when I don’t know what’s coming next, even when all I have is this feeling that “something big is coming”, an opportunity ive been waiting for…this is contrary to what our society tells us…”waiting is bad”- says modern aged Americans. Waiting can be daunting if our identity is in “what we do”- but once we realize we are worth “THE REST”, we will live an overflowing life. It really hasn’t been that long since my freelance “free life” has begun, I’ve subbed taught violin, taught sewing lessons, baby sat, sold clothes on ebay, sold jewelry, sold clothes at consignment shops, hunted for coins (found 20 plus dollars in coins!), gotten lots of miracle money, brought “my trunk store” to parties and gatherings, and met tons of people that are vying for the life I now live.

Even though I have a few cents in my bank account, no health insurance, and no savings. Am I scared? No. I’ve never been happier! I’m going to prove to people that the American Dream isn’t what gives you happiness and that freedom can’t be bought, freedom begins in your soul, not in your circumstances!

At a goth club, I don’t fit in.

Now we fit in.

Follow my adventurous life- you won’t be disappointed. https://twitter.com/Rebekka_Lien

To continue reading my blog and see me succeed in life- shop ze store- http://rebekkalien.storenvy.com/

Adios! Rebekka

Lying on a Raft, Current Directing

2 Jan

I’m lying on a raft, I see faces staring at me from the land, with marks of white and red, eyes wide.

I’m relaxing while the rest holds weapons of fear, wondering whether to attack or not. But I’m far away and safe in the river and beds of waters.

What if, what if, what if..they ask?

I’m already there- but I’m peaceful as a bird. The what if’s have happened, and I’m laughing and dancing still. I’m not on land, only on waters, but the current is taking me where it will, not according to my will- but according to destiny.

There is a land inside of my soul, my temporary body. The waters are flowing and the greens are lush, trees grow and flowers bloom. My outward being ages each day, but my inward being ages with wisdom, growing stronger each day.

I love these 25 beautifully illustrated thought provoking questions-

http://www.marcandangel.com/2010/03/29/25-beautifully-illustrated-thought-provoking-questions/

Perhaps sometimes living requires a submission of your soul into the universe, allowing a higher being to lead you into your true destiny. Perhaps knowing that you’ll be alright and not caring about what people think.

Happy Holidays Everyone! Starting My Year With Post-It Notes

24 Dec

HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND HAPPY CHRISTMAS SOON!

The past few months have been, change, change, change, inconsistency, life and more life.

Without change, there can’t be happiness. 

Change is not only a part of life, part of love, but part of what it takes for a person to be happy. Don’t like change? Well, you’re really screwed. No wonder you’re not happy, no offense.

There were moments I reached mid life crisis and found myself staring at life in the face, asking what I was doing with my life. People think that post- grad confusion ends immediately after you get a job, well, it never ends, even when you are stuck in a job. Life begins after graduation my friends. True warriors face change with vigor, zest, confusion, failures and lots of mid life depression. One needs lots of supportive friends, or even just 1, 2 or 3 close friends will do.

The above is an example of how I am making changes everyday.

Everyday before I go to bed, I have a new RITUAL of writing a prayer, a desire for my life, a goal, a quote, a person, etc. I write this on a post it and stick it right above my bed. I am going to write dates on each post it and I’m sure, 100% sure that all of these goals, prayers, blessings, quotes will come true. What you think, you are. What you hope, you will be. Everything in the universe will conspire to achieve your goals. Positivity will bring positive things into your life.

Did great heroes or great inventors, great artists have thoughts of negativity? Yes. But did they dwell on it? No. Some positive thought pushed them to keep running, keep inventing, keep creating…even when all odds are against them.

You should do it too…I think it’ll benefit you.

Examples of what I wrote:

1. To be big hearted, forgiving, giving, and not easily offended- to embrace all, love all, and to give when it feels uncomfortable. I was driving with my friend the other day, in traffic – this homeless guy was asking for money. I got out of my car and gave him my bag of fruits and my cereal. You should have seen the look on his face, it was pure ecstasy. Doing something good when it feels uncomfortable or when people stare. Who cares about what others think.

2. To self- encourage and love others instead of self- pitying- I have the tendency to self- pity, “oh my god, seriously I can’t believe this person didn’t think about doing this for me…blah”….but this is a selfish love, when not verbalized.

Anyways- hope you have a grand holiday and blessed year! http://rebekkalien.storenvy.com

Munch, Munch, Stare, Stare, One of Those Days

18 Dec

The man wore a knit sweater, his two kids bugging him for some tacos.
Another lady, with pulled back pitch black hair, staring into space, eating a bowl of rice and a chicken salad. Another man with a blinged out snoop doggy jacket walked with his tray. Days like these, I can hear their thoughts. Munch, munch, stare, stare- what is my life worth and what is the meaning of life?
Munch, munch, stare, stare- wow, I’m bored, I’m zoned out, or what the hell am I doing with my life.

I can hear their thoughts loud and clear in my own mind.

Sometimes it’s just way too easy to give up. Especially when you’re thinking about getting food stamps and your business is growing exponentially slow. You have great relationships, but you still feel like you’re floating.

Munch, munch, stare, stare.

Such is the rhythm of life sometimes.

Of course, after some positive energy being exchanged by my ninja friend, I am starting to munch, munch, look look. I’m going to start putting positive quotes on my graffiti wall and write daily goals on it as well. I’m looking forward to this. :) You should do it too!

Yesterday I slept for 11 hours, best time of my life.

coffee hop

12 Dec

Sitting here, watching the cars driving fast
Lights bright and blaring
Humming busy
Exhaustion, trying to read but unable to quiet my distraction filled mind
Maybe I’m just supposed to sit here and do nothing for once

Look at the birds of the air…they do not sow or reap or store away in barns

28 Nov


Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? matthew 6:26

Since August 1, I’ve been unemployed, voluntarily. I went backpacking for a month and spent all 9 months of my savings to experience once in a life time experiences. I then came back, inspired by my travels, began dreaming again. I started the jewelry business and continued selling on Ebay.

But for the last 4 months, I’ve been happily, living off miracles. Day by day.

Some people frown down upon my lifestyle. They think that I should get a full time job, not knowing my creative and entrepreneurial being. I’ve been living off of faith, knowing that I have a father who provides. It’s a spiritual being whom maybe not everyone believes in. However, it’s just SUPER amazing how father has provided.

I don’t believe in debt, because of my experience of watching people suffer in debt, paying off mortgages, credit card, school loans- I decided in high school that I would NEVER go in debt. As I started to watch my credit card balance increase, fear set in. How was I going to pay for my monthly balance, how was I going to pay rent.

Birds don’t store or save. They don’t have a savings account or even health insurance. I’ve become a bird- free from societal expectations. I’m not irresponsible like some people claim that I am. (This really pisses me off by the way).

Last month, a miracle happened, this month another, miracles keep happening.

Last month, I had a bill of about 571 dollars. Because I had vowed always to pay bills on time, I cut all my unnecessary spending. I didn’t buy coffee, snacks, or anything extraneous for one month. I probably spent $20 a week for groceries, I never ate out. Yet, Father provided the little things to put a smile on my face. For some reason, free things popped up everywhere.

The week before the bill was due, I made $30 or so bucks selling my clothes, I made money on Ebay, found $25 in coins, and miraculously, the day before it was due, I sold $50 in jewelry. I didn’t even try to promote my jewelry, by simply wearing the rings, I was promoting and of course- I always had products on hand.

No I don’t have health insurance or a savings account, I kind of live month to month. I haven’t worked under a full time boss for 4 months, I’m probably the happiest person alive. Call me crazy, but I’m starting to really love being surprised and being provided for.

The Great American Hunger- The Epidemic of Never Having Enough

26 Nov

Okay, this is not one of those guilt-tripping, showing you starving children picture, make you give money to Africa kind of blog post. However, it is a blog post to wake up Americans, and well, any other wealthy nation. 

Image

North Korea- the Human market. There’s such a lack of food that people are selling human flesh. It’s inhumane, yet what do WE do to fill OUR hunger? 

Nowadays, debt has become a normal thing. IF you don’t have enough, then go into debt to get what you want. It’s very easy to do. This morning I woke up and these words popped into my head “the great American hunger”. 

The Great American Hunger

What does that really mean? Well, it’s an insatiable consumeristic hunger that, I believe, encourages selfish living and isolation. Think about the kids that play in dirt in poorer countries, they enjoy community and are thankful for the little they have (okay, this is not always true….but perhaps looking at this we can learn something). 

If you notice, Americans aim to go to an Ivy League, then get their masters, perhaps become a doctor or lawyer (please don’t be offended the very occupation is not what I’m trying to get at), so they can buy a really big ass house with a shiny car, maybe get married and have 10 kids. The more we accumulate, the more our stuff serves to isolate ourselves. The bigger our house is the less we have to go out our front door and see people or strangers. Our lives are ours so we drive ourselves to work, drive ourselves home, live in a big house with our own family.

However, because OUR house is so big, we all have OUR own room, so no one feels the need to interact. 

The MORE we spend, the more we want. I believe growing up in America, one cannot say that they have not been brainwashed to think that THE LIFE is “about having more”. Are we not brainwashed to think that “the better technology we have”- the better our lives are? I mean I love technology, but you know EXACTLY what I’m trying to get at. 

The GREAT AMERICAN HUNGER is in our soul. It’s not in our pocketbook, in our wallet, in how much we have or how much we are lacking material wise. 

It is asking ourselves core questions about who we are, where we get our identity from, what is important to us (success, people, money?), and living with intention instead of letting our society brainwash us into a RAT RACE so we can sit on our wheelchair when we are 80 and attempt to go on our vacations that we’ve been working for for the former times of our lives. 

So what are we actually hungry for?

Love, acceptance, the need for other people to tell us “good job and well done” when we’ve made 6 figures? What are YOU hungry for?

(besides all the superficial things that our soul has no desire for).

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