No Bullshit- Letters To the Sane

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The need to be normal is the predominant anxiety disorder in modern life. —Thomas Moore, Original Self 

I can feel the wind howling at me, it was all good. If the weather agreed with my inner ranting, then I could say that I was virtually sane.

“I’m saying this because a lot of people are thinking this. Why should I give to her when I have to work 9 to 5 and she gets to travel?”- a family said.

“I’m working too you know. I’m working everyday”- I said.

Does my pieces of art that took me a month to complete mean nothing to the world? Does my writing, my ranting, my art mean nothing compared to staring at a screen in an office all day? Does my longing for beauty mean that I’m lazy, irresponsible, and a complete idiot? 

I sat staring at my coffee, trying to hold back my tears but only hearing the song “maybe you were born with it”. I can’t help that I was born with a vagina or that I have always had this crazy obsession with the outcasted, lonely, weird people. I can’t help that at the age of 14 I wanted to travel the world and obliterate human trafficking; I wanted to run into homes where women were being beaten senseless and bring justice and healing to them. 

After the car started, I wanted to weep. I wanted to yell and so I did. I yelled “MOTHERFUCKER!!!” and then I thought “do you know how many times I prayed that God would take me, or how many times I prayed that I would be normal, have normal desires for a normal life. Do you know how many times I wished upon a star that I wasn’t chosen, that I was just a normal person that could marry young and have kids and age and die? Do you know how many times I wish I didn’t have these abnormal desires to save little children, change the world and be someone really famous and incredible?”

I can’t help that I’m abnormal you know?

And it’s not like I like not having discretionary income. I mean no one enjoys not being able to buy things. So I guess you can only ask yourself, well then why the hell are these crazy people living the way they are- because we really can’t be anyone else dude.

I was encouraged when I saw these cacti today. They were so beautiful, yet they hardly need any water. They can survive the toughest drought and so can artists who see beauty where there is none.

Trash To Treasure, Pre-Brazil Film: Waste Land & Vick Muniz

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As I was flipping through Netflix, I saw Waste Land with Vick Muniz, the most famous Brazilian artist. In the beginning, I thought I would lose interest, but when they started interviewing the recyclable material “pickers”, my interest piqued. The film turned out to be inspirational, tear- jerking and one that ALL artists and humanitarians need to watch. It is also a great film for those that DON’T understand the importance of the arts, when you watch this film, you will SEE the concrete and soul changing IMPACT that art can do to a community, people and even the government.

What is the film/documentary about? Filmed over three years, Vick Muniz visits the trash pickers of Brazil, in Jardim Gramacho (the largest landfill) in order to create portraits out of trash/recycled goods and to bring awareness, raise funds through the art. His visit turns into a collaboration with the trash pickers, who are inspiring, cheerful, positive people. The catadore (garbage picker) support each other like family; aka someone broke 2 arms and a leg due to being crushed by a trash truck and 20 people donated their blood to him.

By the way, did I mention I picked this movie because that is by far, one of my favorite artworks in history (man in bathtub, dying).

Result of All This? The community was so encouraged, some got to go to London, they got to see the ACTUAL work of their own hands….they realize that they could do something great. One lady left an abusive husband because she SAW herself and her worth through creating art. Art empowered her. Moreover, they raised so much money from the art that in 2012, Jardim Gramacho landfills will be shut down and they will be transitioning to another system. Vick’s efforts has led to a learning center which educates and

You can see the trailer here:

Why Am I Talking About This? This film truly shows the LIFE changing power of the arts. The art seeks to bring beauty and worth to the audience as well as the creator. This film was also vital for me to understand an outcasted part of Brazil, where I will be going May 23 to June 7. Though I have applied for the press program in Brazil, I have yet to hear from them. Watching this film made me realize that perhaps it’ll be okay to pave my own path, whatever that may look like. Perhaps I will meet people on the street that I may become good friends with and teach me about life, I am open to where the spirit will take me.

I can also relate to Vick because like him, I had to work my way up (well, now I don’t think of “going up”, I think of “going forward” since we Americans have such disjointed views of what that looks like). He was born into a lower/middle class family and was relatively poor. One time he accidentally got shot by a guy who had money and compensated him for the wound. Vick was smart enough to use the money to fly to NY where he became a renowned artist.

I don’t think it’s accidental that I watched this film. I have always pioneered to create art that made people think, someday I want to be a successful artist who can help people like that. But for now, I think I’m already doing that, though I can’t see the impact sometimes.

Help me raise $2,600 by May 13 so I can experience the film first hand in Ecuador and Brazil. The leader of the Pickers Association had a dream to have an association, even his family rejected him and people thought he was crazy (even the people he tried to help). At one point, the $6,000 he got from the bank to pay his workers was taken by a stranger who put a gun to his head. He wanted to give up at that point- I started crying because I KNEW EXACTLY HOW HE FELT. You believe in your dreams, but few people do. You meet obstacles and you want to give up. I’m telling you- DON’T. 

“I’d rather want everything & have nothing than have everything & want nothing because at least when you want something your life has meaning, it’s worthwhile. The moment you have everything, you have to search for meaning in other things. I spent my whole life wanting everything, but having nothing. Now I have everything, but I don’t want anything.” -Vick Muniz

Comments are very welcome! Please leave a comment even to say hi! I appreciate it!

8-Bit Grayscale Feature of Me!

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Reblogging Josie Lee’s Post About Me! Check out the original post on her site! 8-Bit Grayscale!

Rebekka Lien & Jeffrey Campbell “PHOTO

Hey everyone!

Recently I bought a pair of Jeffrey Campbell “Photo” in taupe off eBay. I was a bit weary but it checked out. :) I bought them from a very nice lady, Rebekka Lien. When she sent me an invoice she also sent me a link to her webstore, where I learned a lot more about her. I was amazed, and quite impressed. Rebekka is someone many strive to be. She is a true humanitarian donating to various charities all the while sponsoring a child. 
 
You can click here to visit her eBay store (user name: gugibabu). All proceeds from each purchase goes towards Stella’s Voice or Compassion International. These are organizations that fund children’s education and rehabilitate girls saved from human trafficking.
 
She also has a little webstore selling adorable items and did I mention she also paints? No? Well, she also paints, and you can check out her Etsy for some of her artwork. Again proceeds from either place go toward her funding to visit Ecuador to finally meet the little boy, Marco, she has been sponsoring since October 2009! You can read more about her planned trip here. What an amazing and talented person! Please check out her store and help her visit Marco!

Without further ado… Jeffrey Campbell “PHOTO”!

 

I was quite excited when I opened it up to see this. This is one of her prints called “Forgiving Silence” and it is actually one of my favorite ones!! Direct link to it on Etsy here.
 
And again really surprised she included another surprise!
 
:) !
 
 
 
 
Yes, that’s a Marvel calendar on that wall!
Rebekka actually wrote a note to me on the back of that print!
I was so happy, I can’t wait to find a frame for it! :)
 
 
 
So happy! I can’t wait to wear these babies out :) And huge thank you to Rebekka for being an all around awesome person!

Thank you for viewing! Have a fun lazy Sunday!

Forgiving The Silence, A Trip Called “Coming of Age”

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“I just missed my flight…there’s no way I can get to New York”- I thought.

My cousin said, well I’m also going there at 1pm, why don’t you stay over and we’ll go over together.

Suddenly, I woke up startled. It was 2 am in the morning. My head hurt from the dream, it felt like I was traveling in my sleep and reminded me of my 3 flights going to Ecuador. Each of my flight consists of layovers, 2 in Panama and 1 in Chicago. My internal being had been semi- processing and stressed out about my upcoming trip.

For some reason, an epiphany hit me.

I’m doing this trip for me. This was not for Marco. As much as it seems like it is for Marco, this trip is for me.

I know it might sound selfish, but selfish can actually be a good thing.

I was thinking about how the trip takes place beginning on Mother’s Day, a birth, a renewal, nurturing of a kid all the way in Ecuador. I also thought about how much I cared for a kid I hardly know. Why did I care so much?

Because a kid deserves to be known, a kid deserves for someone to buy a flight ticket to see him or her. This is something I never experienced. My own father never bought a flight ticket to visit me in America. I am not saying this to evoke your sympathy nor am I blaming my father. Lying in my bed yesterday night, I realize why this trip was so important to me. It wasn’t simply an act of compassion, some moral virtue or guilt trip to help the poor, this trip was FOR ME; this trip somehow symbolizes reconciliation, healing, an act of letting go and living a life different from my parents, different from any circumstances or people that may have hurt me. 

This trip WILL change me. This trip is another Rebekka’s coming of age. I realize my whole life is a story of healing, of power, of passion….someday it will be such an inspirational story of hope. People will read my blog, my book, my memoir and attain healing and inspiration to go on.

Doing things for YOURSELF can actually be doing good to others. Being selfish, reconciling, healing…

Whatever you do is a projection of your inner being. What you complain about is the very thing that pricks you, for a certain reason. What you complain about others may be the very thing you’re scared to become or the very thing that seeks to limit your freedom to be you.

My drawing “Forgiving The Silence” is about my journey to well, forgive the silence. I believe that I’m not the only one. Probably half of all Americans grow up without one parent, or both. Some have never met their dads or moms. I encourage you to be the ones to bridge the gap of silence…or learn to become a parent to someone you never met.

You can purchase the print for $20 @ MY ETSY STORE! 

Or you can also make a direct donation for my trip! $25 gets me one night @ a hostel, $200 covers cost of seeing Marco. $100 covers food & water for a week.

SUMMER MUST-HAVES! NEW Hello Kitty Glass Frames & Snap Pop Purses, All For A Good Cause.

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Adorable HELLO KITTY GLASSES FRAMES – get your exclusive pair for only $25. What can $25 help me with? It will help me with paying for ONE night’s stay at a hostel, yes, that is if I’m not able to couchsurf. Though my friends have already told me to stay at a hotel because Ecuador is a 3rd world country…I’m just letting the spirit lead me.

Of course, there’s POP & SNAP purses, stores any size of sunglasses or glasses. Great for makeup, makeup brushes, cameras, phones! Not only are they silicon material, but they are great for those silly BIG handbags that causes women to search incessantly for their belongings…because it’s insanely bright. POP & SNAP purses start from $12-$16! They of course also fund my trip.

Yes, fundraising to go to Ecuador and Brazil is still happening! So far, I’ve raised $1,200 which is awesome! But it’s not enough for me to actually travel within Ecuador and Brazil. It’s enough to cover the flights, visas, etc. Thus, you can actually shop my extremely cute and original store online while supporting me while I volunteer and meet my sponsored boy of 4 years in Ecuador then to Brazil. I’ll be in Ecuador for 10 days, then Brazil for the next few weeks. I’ll be stopping at Panama City (layover) and Chicago when I’m coming back to LA.

Speaking of which, I’m fully liberated and have been slowly coming to terms with my self-employment. I’ve been really grateful for friends who have amazing mom/dad cooks that cook INDIAN FOOD, one of my faves. The other day I went to the Brazil consulate and was amazed by their efficiency! In order to get my visa, I had to make an appointment. After getting stuck in traffic, I ran to the consulate (after finding parking in cramped and expensive Beverly Hills). When I got there, I got a number, sat for 3 minutes and was at the window for one minute. Talk about efficient. I’m starting to like Brazil already!

You can also make a direct donation if you believe in my cause to help others and to write about my adventures! I’ll be volunteering and seeing my sponsored kid! DONATE NOW.

Thanks for reading friends! I appreciate it!

Debut Art Show @ Taxi CDC – TODAY!

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“The ‘Reckoning”

Debut Art Show – April 14, 2012 Opening @ Taxi CDC (2148 Sunset Blvd LA) @ 7-9pm

Art and Jewelry sales goes to Marco and my trip to see him in Ecuador- donate here! http://indiegogo.com/rebekka. Art Prints are only $20 each!

“The ‘Reckoning” refers to the combination of the words: Wrecking and Recognizing. In order to recognize a new revelation, epiphany or change, things must be “wrecked” in our life. Something drastic happens that causes us to rethink, re-imagine what life could be like in our next season. Sometimes the “wrecking” is tragic and maddening while other times, it is happy and joyful. However, in my life, most of the “wrecking” first appeared to be disappointing, confusing, and awful. Nothing happened the way I planned; but those disappointments led me to greater truths, wisdom, and awareness of who I am, what I wanted from my life, and the issues around me. I learned to be thankful in all circumstances and to cherish the things that really matter in life: people and love.

Sometimes we need to be wrecked in order to recognize beauty. 

What causes you to recognize something important in your life?

1. Passion- “Dreaming of when the morning comes, lost within an eclipse, falling, tangle of dance and playing”. Medium: Gouache, water color, color pencil, pen, markers. $250 framed.

2. Love At First Growth - This painting defines the beauty and ugliness of growth. Heard of growth spurts? Medium: Acrylic on canvas. $220.

3. Hunting For Freedom - Light, renewal, being. On my search for freedom, I realized that freedom exists within us. Settling and going was all the same if I didn’t have freedom in my heart. Medium: Acrylic on Canvas. $350.

4. Leap Year- The bunny is transformed as it takes a step of faith, a leap into the unknown. Her landing is transitional, becoming. In another space and time, she is simply sitting, being herself. She is contemplative, peaceful. The tree next to her represents the complexities of life, growth, thought and relationships. Yet, amidst it all, she is still. $250 framed.

5. Frozen Magnetism- A chord, a string. It represents continuity, sometimes death, tying knots. It is the tension of not knowing and going forward. It is the tension of pulling and pushing in a relationship, the tension of love, the risk of loving someone and giving them freedom to be. It is the tension of realizing you are not in control. Medium: Acrylic and Rope on Canvas. $220.

6. Forgiving The Silence - This painting comes from a personal journey of not seeing my father for 10 years. The colors, strokes, lines seek to express emotions an artist can’t put into words. Forgiving the silence is about the wrecking, the recognizing, the letting go and foremost, the forgiving. $280 framed.

7. Cups of Wrath- Beep, Redial, cups of wrath, greed, starvation, human desires becoming a prison of entanglement. This drawing seeks to understand what imprisons us and keeps us from living our dreams. Many of us long to live the life we were created for, but we always feel dissatisfied, incomplete. Medium: Water color, acrylic, color pencil, pen. $250 framed.

8. Beauty in Chaos - I shall be telling this with a sigh. Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference”- Robert Frost. Love, paint, pain. The different shapes are Germany, Japan, Taiwan and California. The colors are like the world, this represents my journey in moving and traveling to different countries. $280 framed.

9. Hot Commodity- The essence of truth and commodity. Medium: cardboard & acrylic.

Please note: All artwork is copyrighted. To purchase prints please email me: rebekkalien@gmail.com

Rebekka’s Debut Art Show…Behind the Scenes & My Ecuador Trip

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Come to my Debut Art Show- RSVP on Facebook

Rebekka Lien’s Debut Art Show – “The Reckoning”

Art sales/Rebekka Lien jewelry sales will fund her volunteer trip to see Marco, her sponsored child in Ecuador. To learn more/donate click: http://indiegogo.com/alien
+All regular-priced merchandise @ TaxiCDC will be 40% off. Night of only!
+Refreshments will be served!

“Yes, you need to be careful, don’t carry 20′s and hide your money in your shoes”- she said. I randomly met a girl who lived in Ecuador for four months. We talked about traveling solo as an Asian woman. It’s hard to believe, but from experience, being Asian (and traveling) is definitely different from being any other race. Traveling is another ball park, depending on where you are. If you’re in France, sometimes they start speaking Japanese to you (even though I’m Taiwanese). If you’re in China, but American Asian- they get totally confused. Some countries that stereotypically love Asian women, well, cat calling and stares are pretty typical.

As I’m preparing for the art show (above), I still haven’t booked my return flight. I’m not sure how everything will fall into place, I’m still waiting as you can see. I wanted to go to Brazil to cover their fashion industry, but after a few months, I still haven’t received a response.

A few people have urged me not to go out of safety, but now I am thinking of staying in Ecuador for a shorter time, and then flying to San Paulo. The only thing is that if I go to Brazil, I need to apply for my visa ASAP!

So all of this, up in the air……..everyday before the art show, I’m mentally focused on getting my art together. So much mental energy goes into an event. For example: getting fliers printed, inventory, marketing…my brain is spinning even though it may just be a two hour event. As an artist, I’m concerned about maximum turn out and maximum fundraising! Also, I really need to get my art done, framed, ready to sell. This all for the love of people and traveling.

Subscribe to my blog on the right for UPDATES on my South America trip!

Come to my Debut Art Show- RSVP on Facebook

To learn more about Ecuador & Marco or donate: http://indiegogo.com/alien