Free Speech- My Vulva, My Clit

Finding Femininity

I stared down at my down there, it was big, pulsing, covered with remains of selfish love.
It held power, love, femininity and spoke of womanhood.
I’m a woman and I’m beautiful.
As I stared at the two friends, flaps of grace and beauty, chilling side by side,
I knew that I had arrived, at the point of embracing that I am beautiful.
No more, no more wearing tight jeans that tortured my vulva.
No more, no more wearing things that suffocate my beloved.
I’m letting go, letting my queen reign.
I’m letting go of societal expectations, my vulva, my clitoris want to breathe!

http://twitter.com/rebekka_lien 

Just a snippet of the book to come!

 

Baby Love

“I’ve never felt more peace now that I have so little in the bank account, more peace than when I had money saved!”- I said.

My last day of work was July 29th, today is September 8. It’s been more than a month since I last worked. Miraculously I still have enough thanks for all those that helped me with my trip. But I’ve never been happier!!!

The past month, I learned Baby Love. I learned how to be loved as a helpless baby. God has shown his faithful providence and protection over me. I’ve seen Jesus as superman caring and carrying me through the tough times. Now that I’ve let go of all earthly security, I’ve never had more peace in my life. As a child of God, God takes care of you and you need not worry.

“better the little that the righteous have than the wealth of many wicked; for the power of the wicked will be broken, but the Lord upholds the righteous”- psalm 37:39 (righteous by faith in Jesus Christ, not by works)

My landlady’s baby!

The Most Beneficial Painful Experience Ever

So I made a few bucks on Ebay and thought, I have to get this much needed massage before I leave for Australia.
I go right and pray “please Jesus guide me to the BEST masseuse there who can get my knots out”.
The one I usually go to was not there, so this other lady named Linda gave me a massage.
She said there was something very wrong with my spine, I have “career disease” because I sat too long in front of the computer. She continued to push this really PAINFUL place in my neck and I started feeling woozy.
The next hour of massaging was like….giving birth, it was so painful yet for some reason, when I got up, all the colors of the earth seemed clear, brighter!

She was like, you need to stop using the computer for so long! I remember I have a curved spine and was thinking, “I’m 23, and I already have so many problems! I need to start eating right so I can live long!”

A goat I saw in Taiwan. “OUCH that massage hurt like giving birth!!! I’m ready to give birth!”

 

 

 

Just When I Thought….

Just when I thought God was going to work a certain way….

First: my roommate offered to buy me groceries- omg I have food in the fridge now!!!

Second: my awesome friend gave me a check for $600. Yep, only a spirit filled friend with the love of God would do such a thing. And also

Third: I finally feel reassured that God TRULY IS PROVIDING! :) I can say now I can eat full meals and more than that, that GOD truly is a provider an the perfect Father!!! Several angels have spoke to people to donate to my trip. I’m so blessed! Thank you for your generosity! You will receive 10 fold what you gave!

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

Yesterday I saw a vision of myself with Jesus, me as a little girl at Disneyland. He bought me one of those mickey mouse hats and asked me what I wanted. We went go karting and also went on a ride. Jesus was all having fun with His hands up in the air. He wants to give all the desires of my heart. He asked me what I want to do with my life, I kept listing things. And He said “It’s done!”

It’s crazy how I know God says who He is- but I still doubt at many times of the day. I am developing a cough- need prayer for this infirmity.

The Fire

September 1, the beginning of new things.

The launching happened in August, September is the opening of presents.

Lots of presents, there will be lots of presents, only for those that have kept the faith.

And spoken truth in times of trouble.

I just had a massive encounter with God.

I was crying out to God, looking at my current situation and seeing that there was no way out but to see God speak a miracle.

I lay in my bed, listening to Misty Edwards’ song- “you won’t relent until you have it all”. As I lay there, I knew God was stripping me of all the things I held so dearly for security…Whether that is the need to have a savings or material possession… Whether that is the need to know what I will be doing when I come back from Australia.

In the moment, I encountered Jesus in a way I cannot describe in writing.

I saw Jesus open His arms and beckoning for my hand. We danced and I suddenly saw a ballerina, the image that my friend had prophesied for me. I was a ballerina, beautiful before God’s eyes, dancing with God. We were dancing the future into being. We were creating the future together.

I suddenly felt tears welling up, I started sobbing in desperation for God. I saw Jesus next to me while I twirled in my dress as a girl. He looked at me with pride, He said “wow, that’s my girl, you are so beautiful”. I was praying in heaven language. I saw myself with wings, stepping onto rainbows. I was spewing colors with my wings. Everywhere I went, people looked up in awe and the blind were healed.

My faith has been expanding, strengthened beyond imagination. God wants it all, the Refuge wants me to LET go of all my worldly securities and be a FIRE of God. I saw so much fire, burning, passion of love spewing into the world. I saw a stage, I saw myself fully relinquished to God, thrown, adopted, burning for the LOVE and only the LOVE of Jesus. I felt the tears, the desperation of children that are human trafficked, the lepers on the street, the homeless, the abandoned, the widowed, the abused, I felt deep yearning and compassion for justice.

Right after, my friend messages me and tells me he wants to treat me to boba because I can’t spend money before I go to Australia. God has sent 10,000 angels to pave the way and fight for me. It’s funny how God knows the desire of my heart, even as specific as boba.

I started laughing. God is so funny.

 

Jesus The SuperDad

Recently God has been blowing my mind away.

My friend had a vision for me that I was a baby and that Jesus was carrying me and even cooking for me.

That really made me cry because, well, Jesus cooks for me!

I have 12 days before I board the plane to Oz Land. Another friend prophesied that he saw different arrows and God will bring in finance through different sources. But that, it would be very last minute. I can see that happening- I mean I have 12 days left.

I guess the world can laugh at me- but I’m already seeing God fight for me.

Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. (Exodus 14:13,14)

I’ve been really learning to be still and cry to God for help. There were several nights I felt disillusioned and thought there were demons watching me, but I knew they were just trying to scare me. God has really been fighting for me in the small things.

Like, little things that I randomly thought I’d need- such as comfortable leggings, travel jackets, etc. My friend called me and told me her friend was moving and that she has clothes in my size. I ended up even getting sketchbooks and sharpies I needed to draw on the trip. GOD IS SO DETAILED in His providing- when we simply trust Him with childlike faith. All the ways I thought God would provide, God has a better and more surprising way. I even had a twitter friend donate to my trip- even though we’ve never met. His emails have been encouraging and shown me that somehow my writing is making a difference in the world.

God is not far away, He is fighting for you!

Tell Him all your needs and He’s fighting for you to get you the best. Thank you for all those that have listened to God and faithfully given out of generosity. I know God honors your heart and is using the money to bless others 1,000 fold.

 

 

Give to My Oz Journey of Love Trip-

Shop To Donate- http://myworld.ebay.com/gugibabu

To donate: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=3S4Y8WMEAVLWC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How I’m Able to Work and Travel Quite A Bit

Hey Rebekka,

This is really an impulse message, but I’d love to hear your thoughts on this matter.

From my noticing of my facebook news feeds haha, it seems like you’re able to work and travel quite a bit. I’m kind of in one of those post-college moments where I think that before I get married in my early 30’s or late 20’s, I want to be able to travel the world and experience what there is to offer. At the same time, I know right now is an incredibly important time to start being smart with finances(adding money to your roth IRA, all that stuff).

My question is, how are you able to travel a lot, manage your work, and I guess keep an eye on your finances? I would love to hear your thoughts since you’ve been through this.

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This seriously made my day. To know that I have inspired someone, or to help others question the norm and to live outside the socialized, pre-made box that is boring, mundane.

I will be answering this question, but I thought perhaps I’ll write up a few pointers.

3 KEY STEPS TO BECOMING A TRUE NOMAD

1. Trust in the Lord, not in your finance- money will never give you true happiness. You can have a million dollars, a billion dollars, a few cents, a dollar, and still be unhappy. Money is relative. Social status is also relative.

  • When you know that God loves you and is a provider, that He provides even for the sparrows and the ants- how much more He provides all that you need!!! Because He loves and cares for YOU! YES the UNIQUE YOU!

2. Work IS NOT your life, It Does Not Define You- Work should NOT define who you are. What you do does not define who you are. Yes, you may be an artist or accountant, but that’s not who you are. You are _________ (plug in your name). What you do overflows out of WHO you are- your beliefs, your convictions, your personality, your core, your spirit, your BEING.

  • You need to SHIFT out of that mentality. The world wants to socialize you to sit at a desk for 10 billion hours until the day you die and fall into your coffin. YOU DO NOT LIVE for vacations- that is a SAD way to live. Because you only get one week or two weeks, or three per year. If that’s so, the rest of the year is a waste of time.

3. Learn to TAKE RISK, for it is the ONLY path of a nomad- LEARN TO TAKE RISKS. Even if it’s a small one. If you usually drink lattes, get cappuccinos. If you only wear socks that match, wear ones that don’t. If you are scared of one thing, whatever it is, DO IT! YES, do that which scares you. There’s a reason you are scared of it, it means you are destined to conquer it!

  • Perhaps the normal thing to do is to count how much you are earning each day and be afraid to take days off for the things that you truly enjoy. Well, don’t live in FEAR, LIVE IN RISK! Live for that which your heart pounds LOUDLY for.

I took many days off work to attend seminars, conferences, travel and to refresh my soul. The several hundred dollars that were deducted from my paycheck could not have given me the joy that my travels did.

Let me ask youDoes a few hundred dollar more make a difference? Do you really need to get expensive clothes and bags? Do you really need to eat out all the time? Or would you rather backpack in a foreign state or country and enjoy the BLISS of meeting new people and animals.

Bottom LINE! I’d rather live in risk and change, then live in conformity and mediocrity, and eventually- hatred of my life. I’d rather have the NOW of not knowing where my income will come from, then the certainty of hum drum and boredom.

‎”the choice isn’t between success and failure; its between choosing risk and striving for greatness, or risk nothing and being certain of mediocrity” – forgot who I got this from….

Interdependence and Independence

Recently I have gone to great extents to fathom and comprehend the concepts of reliance and independence. Or more so, independence vs. interdependence. Independence meaning you are able to live by yourself, not be dependent on parents/friends, interdependence moving back and forth between depending and being independent (the healthy way). I’ll just write a poem since it is easier for me.

Dance, music, limelights, she stands alone wondering where her other half is.

Her sublime sadness provokes me to madness. Can this really be? That one cannot enjoy oneself?

Although I am able to enjoy myself meeting new friends, I cannot but feel a bit of sympathy.

Co-dependency has united the two. They have destroyed any possibility of independence or interdependence. Once capture by a net of security her parents provided, she is once again captivated by his golden locks. He keeps you stagnant, she said. I said, where has your business gone? Where has your dreams of shops and sweets gone? A life once sparked with future, now crumbling into ashes.

Boundaries. Distance. Separating myself.  I don’t know what co-dependence means nor independence. It’s a weak thing I deem to be unable to enjoy oneself without their other half. I would think that a healthy relationship allows space for growth, apart from each other. But I find myself amidst situations of friendships where friends depend on their partners for happiness. Dependence I think is different from “addition”. I think partners should give you an addition of happiness, a bonus of life. Though what I have observed in my surroundings is that without their partners, they seem to be unable to enjoy happiness.

So I keep observing. Kind of sad. Not knowing whether what I feel is legitimate. Whether this is just part of life, or realizing that once again, maybe friends are just that fragile. Friendship can be distanced and broken because of someone finding their partner. I think maybe I just need to grieve for myself, just a little longer. Or maybe I should rejoice because all my friends can now live without my help. I can now move on, emotionally and physically, moving into another country, another culture, another arena of friendship.

Maybe maybe, I should allow myself to be, to feel whatever I feel. To grieve and be sad. To realize another chapter of my life has closed and another has come. I’m a little shaken, a little teary eyed. But I’ll be sad and happy. Happy for them, happy for me. Sad for them, sad for me. Bittersweet herbs renewing visions. I’ll move on, carrying those memories in my heart. Because once again, I’ll be surprised by the friendships God will bring forth to me. Life is just like that, looking back in reminiscence, and learning to look forward in anticipation and hope.

Wisdom’s Call

Plum Flowers

I had a spontaneous urge to go to the LA zoo, I did not find the animals as attractive as the flowers. It was a hidden gem most peoples walked by. But I did learn much about human nature and life in general. My goal is to scour LA before I am to leave, not knowing where and how long I will tread the earth.

Regarding Wisdom- note that this whole part is talking about WISDOM. When it says “I” it is talking about wisdom.

Proverbs 8: Wisdom’s Call

1 Does not wisdom call out?
Does not understanding raise her voice?
2 On the heights along the way,
where the paths meet, she takes her stand;

3 beside the gates leading into the city,
at the entrances, she cries aloud:

4 “To you, O men, I call out;
I raise my voice to all mankind.

5 You who are simple, gain prudence;
you who are foolish, gain understanding.

6 Listen, for I have worthy things to say;
I open my lips to speak what is right.

7 My mouth speaks what is true,
for my lips detest wickedness.

8 All the words of my mouth are just;
none of them is crooked or perverse.

9 To the discerning all of them are right;
they are faultless to those who have knowledge.

10 Choose my instruction instead of silver,
knowledge rather than choice gold,

11 for wisdom is more precious than rubies,
and nothing you desire can compare with her.

12 “I, wisdom, dwell together with prudence;
I possess knowledge and discretion.

13 To fear the LORD is to hate evil;
I hate pride and arrogance,
evil behavior and perverse speech.

14 Counsel and sound judgment are mine;
I have understanding and power.

15 By me kings reign
and rulers make laws that are just;

16 by me princes govern,
and all nobles who rule on earth. [a]

17 I love those who love me,
and those who seek me find me.

18 With me are riches and honor,
enduring wealth and prosperity.

19 My fruit is better than fine gold;
what I yield surpasses choice silver.

20 I walk in the way of righteousness,
along the paths of justice,

21 bestowing wealth on those who love me
and making their treasuries full.

22 “The LORD brought me forth as the first of his works, [b] , [c]
before his deeds of old;

23 I was appointed [d] from eternity,
from the beginning, before the world began.

24 When there were no oceans, I was given birth,
when there were no springs abounding with water;

25 before the mountains were settled in place,
before the hills, I was given birth,

26 before he made the earth or its fields
or any of the dust of the world.

27 I was there when he set the heavens in place,
when he marked out the horizon on the face of the deep,

28 when he established the clouds above
and fixed securely the fountains of the deep,

29 when he gave the sea its boundary
so the waters would not overstep his command,
and when he marked out the foundations of the earth.

30 Then I was the craftsman at his side.
I was filled with delight day after day,
rejoicing always in his presence,

31 rejoicing in his whole world
and delighting in mankind.

32 “Now then, my sons, listen to me;
blessed are those who keep my ways.

33 Listen to my instruction and be wise;
do not ignore it.

34 Blessed is the man who listens to me,
watching daily at my doors,
waiting at my doorway.

35 For whoever finds me finds life
and receives favor from the LORD.

36 But whoever fails to find me harms himself;
all who hate me love death.”

What does it mean to wait at the doorway?

Freedom To Be, To Choose

Drawing that I finished. Copyright: Rebekka Lien. I have made this into cards too- for sell proceeds going to charity- to be announced.

Life Is Unexpected.

Fury, laughter, and silence.

Drops of rain cover my window pane.

I am hovering like a helicopter.

Not flying, nor landing.

Heads drooping.

Flowers rotting.

Call me from the grave

This life is short, but beautiful

searching for eternity in my heart

I have yet to experience travels of miles, lands, terrains, hills, valleys, oceans, mountains

and.

stories, people, embraces, laughter, tears

there’s much to come

The strong aren’t strong at all.

Teach me to catch today by the hands.

For I am just another unique masterpiece

writing a story of your glory with my life.

that you have given me.

I could have not existed, not even have a soul, a thought, a conscience,

a heart.

It would be like

having a mouth zipped, brains frozen, body a vegetable,

incapable, lifeless, heartless, thoughtless

BUT.

I sit.

Alive

Writing
Thinking
Drawing
Feeling

One cannot comprehend the gift that is us. To be given life, a book, a blank book we choose to write any story we want.
To be given life, a blank canvas we choose to create any image we want.
To be given life, a song, a melody we choose to write, conduct, and compose.

What is it ? I hear.

We have. We have freedom to choose. What will you choose to create out of your life, what story will it be? What melody?

I hope it will be beautiful.

Make it beautiful, choose to be.

Be BEYOND uncontrollable circumstances

Be the person you TRULY DESIRE to be.