It’s a calm sunday night, I’m sitting in front of my computer listening to Lost Without You, and very enticed to eat a piece of Toblerone. And this blog entry is titled Bloody Mary because I like it with pepper and salt, yummy!

Life stage- shell that is under the water and slowly, well, going onto the shore.

I think this is relevant because I am about to graduate FOREVER from college in like 2 weeks. And heading off to China. Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about what my life will look like in the future. I can’t really imagine. Because right now I know that my interest in wearing Indian Saris, riding on elephants, wearing African robes, and eating Middle Eastern food has really, well increased. I believe that God puts desires and passions in our hearts for a reason. This reason will manifest itself with time. Just as my interest in fashion has manifested in my life, my love for chocolate, and my vision for fair trade. I am overwhelmed by the depth of life and people.

I took this while driving to Thousand Oaks. Yes, while driving. Ooopss

Questions to ask people when you want to get to know them- I’ve compiled a list for your reference:

• Some people say that men don’t have emotions. Do you think that is a true statement?
• What’s your favorite thing to do when you are stressed out?
• What was your favorite thing to eat when you were a kid?
• What would be your dream vacation?
• What would you love to accomplish by the time you are 60?
• What do you wish you had more time to do?
• If you won 20 million dollars, what goals would you be pursuing?
• What are the characteristics of a perfect friend?
• Who was your best friend when you were a kid?
• Is there any kind of trip or experience that you would like to have with your family?
• When you need time alone, what is the best way for me to know this?
• If you could win any award, which one would you love to win?
• Is there anything you have wanted to learn, but have not learned it yet?

For people like us,

We desire compassion, we desire advice

But for people like us,

We hate it when people look down on us or tell us what to do

We despise authority because of authorities abusing their power

Sometimes its hard for us to take even our peers’ words

For people like us,

We learn through experience

We fall and get butt hurt,

But For people like us,

We tend to paint a picture through our suffering

For people like us,

We’re not scared any longer to experience the whole of life.

Thank you for listening.

Hello everyone, I’m sitting at Mcdonald’s using their wifi and eating my own, rice lunchbox. Yes, very asian. I wanted to update everyone on my days lately.

My friend and I attended an event called Taste for Fair Trade in South Pasadena last Saturday. She was very eager to meet the founders and CEO of Anti-Body, a fair trade beauty/skin care company. The sisters names are Tamara and Shelby- visit their website on http://www.anti-body.com/

In addition, I am getting more involved with volunteering at Ten Thousand Villages, a fair trade store in Pasadena-visit their site at http://www.tenthousandvillages.com/. Training will start this Thursday.

Some exciting things that I did this past weekend, went to Venice and visited a cool hat store Titanic, got blown away by the wind and sand (hurt a LOT), went to my friends house and ate legit Mexican food…Pictures below:

Screen printing at the Fair Trade event, got a cool “Switch to Stitch” t-shirt created by Nueva Vida.

Judging Senior Projects (cake decorating in this picture) at Clark Magnet High. This was an interesting experience since I felt like I was deciding the fates of these high school students. They were EXTREMELY professional, nothing like me when I was in high school. Their work was exceptional and well, a lot of professionals that were judging asked if I was an alumni since I looked so young. Nope, sir.

At my friend’s house eating legit Mexican food. I love Mexican cheese and I got to eat Cactus!!! THE BABY IS SO CUTE but he turned around.

Since I’m an advocate and probably a future CEO of a Fair Trade clothing company- I’ve started extensive research on the Fair Trade movement, companies, as well as events. Here’s one I think should be marketed online-

A Taste of Fair Trade on May 23, 6:30 pm

Where: Holy Family (Parish Hall) 1527 Fremont Avenue South Pasadena, CA 91030

Taste free Fair Trade wine, coffee, and chocolate!

Meet Nueva, Vida, a Nicaraguan Fair Trade Sewing Co-op, and other Fair Traders in our community.

Enjoy music, live tee-shirt silk-screening with artist Dewey Tafoya, free Ben & Jerry’s Fair Trade Ice Cream.

Learn all about Fair Trade and the Fair Trade Towns movement in a relaxed friendly atmosphere

Find out what Fair Trade is all about and which of our South PAsadena businesses feature Fair Trade products.

Another resource I found: http://www.fairtraderesource.org/

Just for your enjoyment, this past Saturday went to a Gospel for Asia dinner with friends at Embassy Suites. The best part? Chocolate cake, nom nom nom- COOKIE MONSTER! And I bumped to a friend of mine who is mission director of his church.

Sugar and Spice Art & Fashion Show last Friday was a blast! At the end, the DJ spun some crazy mix, I kept reminding him to spin some electro and house. He replied “okay, now I can. I just didn’t want to scare people with the music”. I’m like “I TOTALLY understand!” But electro/ house is the best and always gets me pumping. Some random memories will probably be, me going on stage and dancing, FIDM friends dancing, and seeing unexpected people being very dance-ly as well.

Timmery’s booth- www.1981collection.com

(I helped sell her products)

Some of Timmery’s designs/makeup/and jewelry.

Jessica Mcgrew and I (Fashion Design grads from FIDM- woot)

Entitled, bothersome, forlorn, sad.

Deprived of a child, still in the womb, like a staring cat.

Engaging, lifeless, yet a strong gaze.

Accepting me, accepting all.

Though I was once cursed, I’ve been freed.

Entitled, like a child, asking for cookies.

Loving, only when feeling loved.

Not loving, when seething with entitlement.

It’s only you. It’s only me. It’s all me. It’s all we.

Fighting, we pull and push again. 6 weeks leave me hanging dry, like a limbless livestock.

My hands are dry from working ceaselessly. It’s okay to give up and win. It’s okay to give up

and breathe. Letting only trickles of rain pour down when I lie alone, in the sad sad night.

For now, let’s breathe in this chaotic beauty.

And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?- Mark 8:36

I’ve walked many paths, like a lost man, looking for love and looking for reputation, I looked and broke many branches

walking in the woods, shivering in cold and loneliness

I thought i wanted riches, and gold enough to build my mother a house, a car to drive and to shine

I thought i wanted a man that could fulfill all my needs, hold my hand, and never let go

I thought i wanted to trade my soul for false illusions and dreams

I thought i wanted to become something great in the world

so that i could be happy

so that i could be satisfied

so that i could win perfection

but i met one God that fulfilled my all.

Jesus Christ covered my all. I am hidden under His wings.

People change, like rocks and trees, and snow, and well seasons

People’s preferences change, they think they really want something, someone

but those preferences change

because people grow, learn, fall, and walk

But who they are remain the same, ingrained with the same personality, imprints, core

sleepyhead changes to cashews of blues

behind your eyes

It is so easy to judge, but so hard to love.

I keep making the mistake of judging. But forget to keep looking at the huge chunk in my eye. Maybe that is what the dream was about, the huge hole in my eye, realizing it’s as big as my eye.

Last night’s dream: It was a really ugly picture of myself. I kept showing people that weird hole in my eye and almost squeezed it out, my own eyeball.

Paper dress I made!

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NKJV)

For the last few days I couldn’t sleep well, thinking about fundraising for my study/service trip, as well as all the complications of saying goodbye, albeit only 4 months, yet, traveling is complicated. I finally turned in my application for a China Visa, paying 30 bucks more for the travel agent to do it for me—Thus avoiding parking, driving, LA traffic, and lines. EW. I got 2 visa photos taken at Photo Fun on Main and Garfield. Cost me 10.99. The sign said 13.99, but I said it was too expensive, I said, 10 dollars, she said in her broken Chinese “okay okay, fine fine”.

I’ve been thinking lately that I make things BIGGER than they are. I stress out about small assignments, I don’t procrastinate, and then I’m left with TIME…and then I think, if only I knew how to over-manage, I would be a little more relaxed. Sometimes thinking ahead can be a liability, not an asset.